[Bahasa Indonesia]
This is it. I am off for seven-eight months of study in the Beshara School, Scotland, UK. I shall see you again in April or May 2009, God willing. Be good. Have fun. Take care.
-eva
pic: Taken somewhere on Orchard Road, Singapore.
[Bahasa Indonesia]
I was in a group discussion one day, when a participant was telling us her story--how she wanted to help a person that came to her one day but could not because she had had prior engagement. She kept thinking how the woman must have felt and whether she had made the “right” decision by ignoring the plead.
Another was telling us how he has forgiven the people who have hurt him. How we have to be patient. How we need to be forgiving and let go. To accept. To be humble.
I thought to myself, isn’t amazing how we often focus on improving ourselves by reviewing how we behave toward others or how others view us? Sometimes we do not realize that the so-called problem is actually between us and ourselves, not us with them, and certainly not them with themselves.
A book I recently read gave me a different (and interesting) perspective. It advises us (or rather, me) to start with ourselves. Rather than focusing on how we should behave, it invites us to pay attention to the process within.
It is time to be (more) honest to ourselves, about ourselves. How do we really feel? To understand ourselves. To accept that we still feel the anger, disgust, annoyance, happiness and love. All sorts. To be honest with ourselves.
We have spent too much time denying what we feel—especially when the feelings are negative. Too often we just sweep our feelings under the rug—merely shifting the conscious to subconscious, adding to the already stacked up emotional baggage that we have. Not really deal with it.
We start from acknowledging how we feel and pay attention to it. Then pay attention to how the feeling evolves.
The books goes further by saying “breathe in the negative feelings, breathe out the positive ones.” I think it is a brave move.
Only after that process of looking within, we can step up our efforts to reach out to other people. Only by understanding our feelings, we can begin to understand how others may feel. Only by accepting and loving ourselves, we can begin to accept and love other people.
Make sense to me. Don’t you think?
An extra note. Are we really humble when we explicitly claim we are humble? Are we really patient when we claim we are patient? Do we really accept when we say we accept? Or are we just kidding ourselves? Another noun crept up my mind as I wrote this: Arrogance. Who are we kidding, honestly.
[Bahasa Indonesia]
My school has not started yet. I have not even started my (physical) travel yet. But the pre-term lessons have begun.
A healing mentor Reza Gunawan told me a while ago sometimes our body and soul know the travel that we are about to embark on and they begin the process even before we start the physical journey.
I can feel that the process have begun. Within. A sensation (or two, or three) so familiar and familiarly intense. They are resurfacing. This time, I (try to) welcome them with all my heart. Try would be the operative word here, as it can be quite challenging.
My meditation teacher Pak Merta Ade of Bali Usada once said, “When you are ready, try to stay with the sensation longer.” (translation: don't run away. Deal with it.) He was talking about the bodily sensation felt during meditation. I was hearing a lot more than that. I heard sadness, anger, traumas, and what have you. All those unresolved emotions.
The book I received from a friend urged me to start where I am now. To learn to deal with my current and real (physical and emotional) conditions; to learn from them. Again, all those unresolved emotions.
Both occurrences told me to “slow down, stop moving, sit, and deal with yourself”. So I sat. In silence. With nobody else but myself. And You. It was not easy. Somehow the old feelings and memories have become more and more vivid. I became restless. I wondered whether I was ready to plunge into this once again.
I would not be me if I had not tried to be 'creative'.
Maybe if I keep myself busy, I would not be too tied up with this practice. I took up some projects even though my departure date is approaching fast. I guess I forgot who I am up against. Both projects were not moving that fast. I still have lots of free time to “be tied up with this practice.”
Well, maybe there is a way to lighten this load a bit. Sharing would help, right? It would not hurt to tell a friend or two, right? Wrong.
Some things really should be left unspoken and unshared. There was always something. Internet got disconnected. One too many people around. Mismatched schedule. Not enough time. You see, it is not that I don't want to, I cannot. I must not.
So again, I can only sit in silence. With myself and I. And You.
I know the time has arrived. I know it is a personal journey that I have to walk on my own. With nobody else but You. Believe. I do.
You may not understand. It is ok. Sometimes I don’t either.
The mind knows. The heart still needs to catch up.
[Bahasa Indonesia]
It is September. On the 17th, I'll be off to Scotland for a six-month study in Beshara.
These upcoming months of my life was started by one of those unexpected turns in my life. I was introduced to the Beshara group in Jakarta last year.
I attended a weekend course and I must admit I did not connect instantly. But something has pulled me to the group again and again. I obeyed, partly out of curiosity.
Earlier this year, I attended another weekend course. Toward the end of the course, I stroke up a casual conversation with one of the facilitators. I asked whether it was possible for me to join the course on scholarship. He said, “Just email the school director.” The statement was that simple.
The process was amazingly just as simple. I ‘ignored’ that remarks for a week, then something prompted me, and I thought, well, why not. I have nothing to lose.
I emailed the director. The director responded. Yes. Yes??!?!? I text-ed a couple of friends, forwarded the email, and asked whether I have understood the email correctly. I was. Wow.
Some friends asked (over and over again) how come I got the scholarship, on what ground. The only answer I could give them was: “Perhaps, all you have to do is ask.” A succumbing answer given due to lack of other logical explanation. No need for one.
And the rest is history. I received the acceptance email in March this year. Then life happened. Now we are in September. Two weeks from now, I shall be in Scotland, God willing.
Scotland. The region has been very close to my heart. My friends and family know how much I have fallen in love with the place.
So when they heard I was going to Scotland, there were only two comments made: “It is meant to be” and “Oh, you are going home.”
Yes, I feel like I am going home. I am going home. I am going, from one home to another. It is meant to be. I am merely walking it.
If you go there--and you go there with me, I am sure you can see what I see, and feel what I feel, then you might understand why.
---
I woke up this morning to a text by a dear friend: “May all kind efforts lead the soul to true enlightenment, even if it is not the easiest road.”
I know. You know. No other does. Deep breath.
pics taken from Beshara, Stirling Uni, and Gettyimages.
[Bahasa Indonesia]
Singapore always feels ‘business’ to me. I do not think I have ever come here as tourist. It was always for something specific: taking my mom to hospital, visiting friends, meeting, attending conferences, or, this time, participating in a training course.
It was a four day training on Craniosacral Therapy (CST). Cranio what? It is a light touch healing technique developed by John Upledger. Simply put, the touch would relaxes stressed muscles and, conversely, activates sleeping muscles.
I love CST for several reasons. It helps people (I am a witness to that. I have been treated.) It uses soft touch, which does not hurt at all (five grams of touch are all it takes.) It has strong scientific medical explanation to back up the technique (good for my overtly logical and painstakingly critical left brain.)
The touch is a way to connect to the person’s body (and mind). Human body has self-healing mechanism. The touch simply says “we’re listening” and waits until the body is opening up to tell its stories.
[Remind me to write more about CST later, For now, kindly refer to the official website of the Upledger Institute for details.]
The training was great. The instructor Michael, the four teaching assistants (TA) and Greenpartners as the organizer (hey Kheng!) were simply superb.
Two of the TAs were my therapists—Martyn and Heather. I did not know they were supposed to be there. So Heather came up to me from behind, covered my eyes from behind and said, “Guess who I am. You should be able to tell by the touch of my hand.” ☺ A typical CST joke!
I had a great time. Honestly, I had a great time during the training. On my first day, I texted a friend only to say “I like my life.” From the bottom of my heart. I don’t think I have ever thought that, at least not for a long time. My life has been nothing but blessings, but that day I honestly felt I was blessed.
When I told several friends about my taking this course, they asked, “What are you going to do with it once you have taken the course?” Good question.
A question that reminded me about a passage in Paulo Coelho’s Pilgrimage. The main character was eager to find the sword. So eager that he did not realize that before finding the sword, he had to answer the most important question: “What will you do when you find the sword?”
I am still uncertain about my answer. Perhaps it is a step toward a childhood dream to become a doctor. I used to want to be a doctor so I can spend half of my time making money and the other half helping people.
Or perhaps it is a make-up time. I remembered the helplessness I felt when I was volunteering to help victims of the Jakarta’s major flood. So many suffering, so little I could do.
I don’t know. But I know when it is time, I will know what to do with it.
For the time being, I would like to thank the CST team (and new friends) for the great experience. Thanks to the city of Singapore that has always been kind (and professional and efficient!) to me.
A special thanks to Yolli, Hany, and Andien for letting me stay at their places. Nila and Mike for the great veggie meal. A warm hug to all whom I met during my visit to Singapore this time round.
[Bahasa Indonesia]
Throughout the 11 days of the TB2 meditation, I spent 10 of them observing the noble silence. Noble silence means “silence of body, speech, and mind. Any form of communication with fellow student, whether by gestures, sign language, written notes, etc., is prohibited.
Participants may, however, speak with the teacher whenever necessary and they may approach the management with any problems related to food, accommodation, health, etc. But even these contacts should be kept to a minimum. We should cultivate the feeling that we are working in isolation.”
Surprisingly, not talking to the people around me was not my biggest challenge. Perhaps it was because I did not know them so well. We had just met and chatted several hours before so the emotional bond was not there yet.
My biggest challenge, I found, was the fact that I could not write and tell stories (verbal or in writing) to my friends.
I miss telling stories to my friends—to you—and sharing my impressions with them—with you. I miss my friends—miss you. It took 10 days of noble silence to help me realize how much sharing with my friends—with you—mean to me.
The hills and the clouds gave their second lesson:” Be patient. Wait until the process has finished, wait until it is all clear to you, then share your stories”.
The moon, which hanged around until 7Am that day, augmented the lesson: “The friends will still be there when you finish, waiting for your to return to them.”
[Bahasa Indonesia]
When you stood up in front of your client to defend your team, do you do that out of professionalism, out of love and care for the team, or out of anger to the client?
When you stop a father from hitting a child (God forbid), do you do that out of love to the child or out of disgust for the father?
When you shout “stop corruption!”, do you should in the name of justice and welfare for all, or out of hatred to the corrupts?
Anger, disgust, and hatred are negative emotions no matter what the reasons may be. They create scars in our souls. They taint even the best deeds. Take good care.
-from the talk delivered by Pak Merta Ade
[Bahasa Indonesia]
Do you know that caterpillar needs to find its own way out of its pupa to become a butterfly?
If, for instance, you have the good intension to help the caterpillar out by cutting its pupa, then the would-be butterfly would not have strong enough wing muscles to allow it to fly.
If you try to make it easy for it, the would-be butterfly would not go through that series of muscle training when it is crawling out of its pupa.
Sometimes you just need to do it and go through it yourself to really understand and build your bodily and mind muscles. *Justification mode on ;)*
-from the talk delivered by Pak Merta Ade
Pic taken from here.
[Bahasa Indonesia]
I cannot remember when the last time a teacher (or supervisor) got more excited than myself about what I did. That was how I felt when I went to see my Bali Usada health meditation teacher Pak Merta Ade on my third day of TB2.
I went to his porch. When he saw me walking towards him, Pak Merta Ade got up and with a huge smile he looked me in the eyes and shook my hand firmly. “I am so glad to see you join TB2. You participated in TB1 and now TB2. Good. Very good,” he said excitedly. I felt honored.
The conversation went on. I told him about my challenges.
I told him about how I felt a lot of discomfort whenever I tried feeling the six characteristics of the earth element in my body.
I said that every time I got to that earth stage, I just moved on from one characteristic to another very fast.
Pak Merta said, “That means you are already sensitive enough to feel the element. Then if and when you feel you are ready, try to stay a little longer, feel the sensation, and sense the impermanence, that everything will eventually change.”
I was impressed how he managed to say it positively. He did not scolded me for dodging the discomfort I felt and say “You are wrong. That is not how you are supposed to do it. Don’t be so weak. Face the pain and discomfort.”
Instead, he used the words “when you feel you are ready.” There was not a single judgmental or negative word in the sentences.
That is why he is the teacher and I am the student ☺
[Bahasa Indonesia]
Second leg of the trip: 11 day meditation of Tapa Brata II (TB2), arranged by Bali Usada, in Pacung (wherever that may be in Bali. Geography is not exactly my forte). From the 11 days, I spent 10 of them in noble silence.
I have never done an 11 day meditation before. There is always a first time for everything, as the cliché would say. I did seven day meditations, but never eleven days.
It was quite an experience, a well-worth experience to go through.
As usual, the people were interesting. I mean, those were not the bunch who wants to try meditation the first time.
They have tasted several traditions of meditation. They have taken the Tapa Brata 1. Somehow they must have thought that they might be on to something here and decided to take up TB2.
I was greeted by the great nature and simple living, chatted with friends and Pak Merta Ade, made a pact with God just to go by, and had numerous rendez-vous with the nights.
So many things to share that I have decided—as with the yoga experience—to share the experience in several entries. I really miss sharing this with friends—with you.
Take your time. Enjoy.
[Bahasa Indonesia]
Humility--a word that seldom exists in my dictionary, unfortunately. Working and living in this competitive modern fast world, pride or even arrogance seems to have taken me thus far in life. Modesty and humility have very little space.
Yet, humility seems to be my lesson of the month.
Four times, at least, the word humility has been hammered to my head. Two of them use tree as metaphor.
ONE
A story from Pak Merta Ade, Bali Usada. A king and his large entourage were walking around a garden. He saw this handsome tree, larger stronger than the others, bearing more fruits and leaves. He picked a couple of fruits and moved on. The entourage started to picked fruits from the same tree. When there were no more fruits, people started to picked the leaves, then the branches. The tree was left with very little.
The king has finished his round and saw what happened to the tree. He thought, "The grander you are (than others), the more spotlight will be on you, the more people would tend to (ab)use you. Better to be more modest and similar with others."
TWO
A beloved friend told me her conversation with another friend. The other friend pointed to a particular tree, skinny, few leaves etc. Yet, it is nurturing its surrounding, the best that it can, the way it should be. "That little tree that nobody notices," he said, "Be that tree. Be that tree." (I love this story).
THREE
That beloved friend herself. She is like a walking encyclopedia, especially on spirituality. But when you pass her on the street, you would not even lay an eye on her. She is so .. ordinary. She is being that tree. I have been trying to meet up with her but our schedule never meets. So when several days ago I met her, I told her it is like a gift from Him to me. I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to meet her again.
FOUR
From a weekend Beshara session. The whole session was about humility. Humility as a prerequisite to move on to another stage in life.
The text reads "Humility is in its broadest terms poverty of spirit; not poverty by lack, but by esteem of individuality; it is the acceptance of one’s limitations; in other words a realistic estimation of one’s self without aggrandizement of one’s egocentrically fabricated self-illusions.
In short, it is an honest appraisal of one’s being, which is tantamount to knowing oneself closely. Though in this close scrutiny of oneself is involved the fullest development of one’s possibilities in potential, which will eventually bring one to one’s fullest perfection, there is nevertheless a hideous and frightening list of one’s defects and shortcomings."
Four repetitions over a single lesson in one month. Either it is very important or I am that arrogant. Or both.
[Bahasa Indonesia]
This time we discuss about "hijrah", an Arabic term which implies a move towards the better (point) in life. Hijrah starts with the desire to improve oneself. For hijrah to be blessed by Him, we need to refer to His rules. The rules of The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful.
The definition of God as the Most Gracious, The Most Merciful, which implies God as Love is universally accepted. The 'correct' way of living is thus by radiating such love in every second of life. That we always do good deeds, full of love, to all.
The components of hijrah are remembrance (of God) and thankfulness. The implementation is by consistently acting out of love as described by the Holy Book. The output is taqwa (awareness of God as one moves through life) and good deeds.
The remembrance of God is the true meaning of "shalat", prayer. To remember (His dos and donts), to do what He has asked us to do and to avoid what He has forbid us to do. To remember as much as we can every second of our life.
Thankfulness for all the blessings we have: the body, the soul (the sight, hearing, touch, feeling, smell and thoughts). By using them and taking care of them as best as we can.
The Holy Book Al Qur’an is used as the main guidance in life. To be read, studied, understood, applied and shared. Muhammad has created quite a comprehensive reminder system (the five pillars of Islam, Adzan, Iqamah) to help us remember at all times.
The Hijrah is a lifetime process. This is fortitude. The true Jihad. As best as we can. It is all a process.
[There was an interesting conversation about mosque. As with the misconception in shalat, there is a misconception about mosque (masjid in Arabic). The word masjid means a place to bow. Conceptually speaking, the place for one to bow resides within one's heart.
So God's true 'home' is within the heart of the believer. The act of remembrance of God is done within one's own heart (masjid). I like this concept ☺.]
Full note (in Indonesian) can be downloaded from here.
[Bahasa Indonesia]
My sister has just returned from a parenting training. They discussed a lot of things. Among which was the fact that the trainer advised the participants to train their children to postpone their (meaning: the children's) desire.
When children ask for something, parents do not necessarily have to obey the wishes immediately. Delay them appropriately. Give a pause between the wishes and the fulfillment.
This, the trainer said, would train the children to have pauses in life. To not act reactively (instinctively and emotionally) at that very instance. To think before they respond to any stimuli in life. Thus, to act wisely. Ouch.
Very interesting, I thought. What a great habit to teach in such a simple manner. I know it is best to think before we act. I know that it is good to postpone one’s desire. But I never link the two together, at least not when it comes to child-rearing activities.
I will let my two great teachers tell the rest of the story in this entry.
Jalal-ad-din Rumi said that, “The beginning of pride and hatred lies in worldly desire, and the strength of your desire is from habit. When an evil tendency becomes confirmed by habit, rage is triggered when anyone restrains you.”
Then he said, “If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?” Good one, teach. How should we do this? How do we restrain our desire? Along came my other teacher, Al Ghazali.
In his book Disciplining the Soul (which probably ranks among the most influential books in my life), Al-Ghazali quoted Yahya ibn Muadh al Razi, “Fight your soul with the sword of self-discipline. These are four: eating little, sleeping briefly, speaking only when necessary, and tolerating all the wrongs done to you by men. For eating little slays desire, sleeping briefly purifies your aspirations, speaking little saves you from afflictions, and tolerating wrongs will bring you to the goal—for the hardest thing for a man is to be mild when snubbed and to tolerate the wrongs which are done against him.” (Al Ghazali, Disciplining the Soul, p57)
You’re absolutely right. Tolerating wrongs is among the most challenging task. How can I hold myself from confronting the people who have snubbed or wronged me? When should I say something and when I should remain silent?
He (Al Ghazali) then said, “A man once enquired Umar ibn Abd Al-Azis, ‘When should I speak?’ And he replied, ‘Whenever you wish to remain silent.’ ‘And When should I be silent?’ the man asked, and Umar replied, ‘Whenever you wish to speak.’ (Al Ghazali, Disciplining the Soul, p59)
I nodded my head. Right. But then, I became puzzled with the statement. Looks like I am still learning.
Let’s just start from the beginning then. Like what my sister’s trainer said. Postpone the desire. Ours. Not the children's.
[Bahasa Indonesia]
It’s been quite some time since I last attended Pak Arif’s quran study. I forgot how down to earth his teaching is. It was a gentle reminder to retrospect and evaluate my steps in life thus far.
The discussion that night was about prayer. A participant asked how we can ensure that our prayer does not backlash on us. Real prayer never does, Pak Arif said.
Al Qur'an said that “all things go back to God [as their source]” (for instance in 3:109). But have we really returned all things that we are or that we do to Him? I doubt it, at least in my case. We pray for what we desire, for what we think is good fur us.
We forget that each of us is here with specific role and function. We forget that there is a master plan in life. We forget to go back to God and ask, so what’s Your plan and how can I help?
We forget to obey God’s law, or if you prefer the law of nature, the karmic law, what goes around comes around. We forget to do good. We have what a friend called “the most unfortunate person syndrome” – we think life is full of problems and not blessings.
So here’s a tip from Pak Arif: from the time we wake up, remember God (or if you prefer, remember Love, remember the Higher being in us), be thankful of all the things that we have (even the simplest thing such as our sights and hearing), pray for protection from God, pray to ask God what His plan is and what we should do. Close the prayer with feeling of thankfulness, understanding how blessed we are with our live.
So that our life be guided and we can function as we all should be, which is to be a blessing to all.
Complete note of the study (in Indonesian) is here.
[Bahasa Indonesia]
My friends and I were discussing the poem It’s a pleasure to be a student. One asked about the line “Rivers show me the nature of myself.” What can rivers show us? She asked.
It brought me back to when I was in Anahata, Ubud, Bali.
Towards the end of my stay there, we went down to the river just below our resort.
I dipped my feet in the river. I moved my feet around and played with the water. The feet, naturally, moved and it was a nice sensation.
Then I suddenly stopped moving my feet, while still leaving them in the water. And what I saw, moved me, inside.
I saw my feet kept moving. It was moved by the river water, rather playfully. It was a grandeur sensation.
Perhaps that’s how we should live our life as well. If we surrender to nature, then the nature will gracefully and lovingly (and sometimes playfully) move us.
We do not have to try to fight or move against it to get that grand sensation. Perhaps there is such thing as trying too hard.
Instead, we just appreciate, surrender, and flow with it. Experiencing, enjoying, an even grandeur sensation.
And that, I told my friend, was what the river has shown me.
Pic: From Anahata Spa & Villas Resort.
[Bahasa Indonesia]
The Arabic word "i’tikaf" gets popular especially towards the end of the fasting month of Ramadhan. People go to mosques, conduct the prayer, read the Qur'an, and spend the whole night (or more) in the mosque.
What is the essence of i'tikaf?
I’tikaf is about contemplation to achieve spiritual transformation. To contemplate on our conduct thus far, to contemplate on our relations with other beings and the whole universe (not just among human).
Al Qur’an does not specify how to conduct the i'tikaf. Thus the imams of the muslim provide the explanation, with some differences in the details.
Whatever the name may be, to me, contemplation is an important thing to do. Contemplation does not mean we think of a certain issue with specific objectives or achievements in mind.
Contemplation means opening self or heart so that the higher energy can infiltrate us, be present within.
The energy that can naturally and automatically guide us in navigating our lives, in harmony with our function and mission in life.
You can download the complete note (in Indonesian) here.
[Bahasa Indonesia]
The note was made during Pak Arif's speech in the comemoration of my sis's mother-in-law's passing.
Pak Arif opened his speech by stating the usual “Assalamu alaikum wr wb. Shawalat and salam..“ and followed by saying “prayers and peace be upon all of us, especially to the host of this event and to our teachers.”
A verse in Al Qur’an urged us to fast so that we can become the person of faith (takwa). Takwa should be the end, the destination of our journey.
That is why we are given clues, a key to heaven named Al Qur’an, whose first verse contains an order for all of us to read (iqra). Not just plain reading, read to understand, to do, to make it part of our personality and a tool for all of us to live in harmony.
This state of harmony is something that we should work on. There are five pearls to living in peace, in harmony:
1. Remember Allah, in every second of our lives.
2. Conduct everything without expecting anything in return, ikhlas. Pak Arif said that if we want to learn the word “ikhlas”, the best teacher is our mother.
3. Shalat. Pray. In shalat, we are reminded of our mission in life, in the prayer “indeed, my shalat, my life, my death is only for God.”
4. Be patient. Patience that is accompanied by our obidience to God, a lot of good conducts and night prayers to ask for forgiveness.
5. Be thankful. Pak Arif said that nowadays people are much better in complaining. Endlessly. Where in fact, our complaints can close the door to what He wants to open for us.
Complete note (in Indonesian language) can be downloaded here.
[Bahasa Indonesia]
This note discussed about the foundation of fasting, which is QS Al Baqarah (2):183-188, and the its objectives. There are three objectives in fasting:
First: takwa - to increase the quality of the person, to become a person of real faith, those who maintain himself (from wrongdoings), who seek to be closer to God, who fear God (acknowledge God as the higher power) and who feel like he is being watched by God.
Second: syakirin – to be thankful. To realize what we have all these times, to accept, to take care and to utilize them well.
Third: rasyidin – to live a clean life, the correct way of living.
These verses, especially the one that talk about alms giving, are also emphasizing the social value of fasting. So that we do not forget those who are less fortunate that we are.
So that we will not create a weak future generation, physically and mentally – there should be improvements in nutrition and education. If not us, who else?
At the end of our fasting, the real test is to evaluate our lifestyle after Ramadhan, the way we talk, the way we act and how we use our wealth.
Have a great fast. I apologize for all my mistakes. I sincerely hope that we can improve ourselves to the “takwa” level, and not just feel the hunger and thirst.
Complete note (in Indonesian language) can be downloaded here.
[Bahasa Indonesia]
Still from the conversation with Pak Brotoseno.
We spoke about contemplation. We spoke about feeling grateful. To contemplate how much we have received from everybody and every single thing in nature.
Look at the obvious. People who have explicitly and directed given us many things. Our parents. Our teachers. Our friends. Our sponsors.
Look at the less obvious. This plate of rice that we are eating. The farmers that grow the rice. Those who help the farmers harvest. The people who make the fertilizer. People who buy the rice from the farmer. People who transport the rice from the farmer to the store. People who sell the rice. People who buy and cook the rice for us. People who serve us the rice.
That's only for the rice. Look at the other food we eat, the plate, the cutlery, the chairs and tables, the lights and lamp, the roof above us. And contemplate on the same process. The people with whom we enjoy the meal.
Look beyond people. The air we breathe. The freshness of water that quenches our thirst. The birds. The flowers. Feast for our senses.
Look at how much we have been given.
So when we start doing or giving something, see it not as if they owe us anything. Because we have been given a lot more. Think of it as us giving back, as a token of appreciation, to other people, to the society, to nature.
Of course there are people or occasions that cause us hurt, heartache, anger. But when we start seeing that so many people are doing good, how many we have been receiving from so many people and things, we start realizing that the number of people doing us good far exceed the number of people who cause us hurt and anger. This number becomes insignificant.
Be grateful. Start doing something. Anything.
[Bahasa Indonesia]
Last weekend me and my fam went to our hometown, Solo. My sister wanted to find some antiques for her house. She was referred by a friend to this person: Pak Brotoseno.
When we got there, it turned out that he was not into antiques anymore, rather he is making some wooden furniture. It was obvious how he really loves his work. And only did what he wanted to do. What a beautiful thing to do. or to be.
I went to the second level of his house and I asked what this room was for. He said he is teaching meditation every night. Hm.
Without thinking much at all, I said that I would return that night. And I did. We (Pak Broto, his father Pak Pujo, my sis and I) chatted. The topic of the night was an introduction to meditation. Pak Pujo led the discussion.
We were taught and we practiced some meditation techniques. He said that a meditator must overcome five challenges: greed, anger, sloth, hesitation and fear.
Greed is interesting. There are obvious greed. But there is also a more subtle greed, which we often overlook. When we are happy, we want to hold on to that happiness. That's greed.
When we feel peace, we do not want it to end. That is greed. Tough.
One paradox that he mentioned was that to feel peace, one should not desire peace. A saying that I should contemplate first before I even begin to understand.
Neither Pak Broto nor Pak Pujo did not ask for a single dime for the nighly session. They even provide some snack and drink. Pak Pujo said that he did not pay for the lessons he has learned so why should he charge for the ones he is giving. "This is my way of giving back, because this is the only thing I can do." Simple, humble.
At nine pm, he looked at me and he said "I think this is enough for tonight?". And the session ended. When I was about to go home, Pak Pujo was sitting on the floor, eyes stuck on the TV in front of him. Such innocence.
The humbleness in attitude and in spoken words, yet such wisdom and sincerity. I cam to this place to find antiques, and I found myself a new teacher. Thank you.
ps: He reminded me of you, pop. Down to the body language. But most of all your straighforwardness, simplicity, humbleness, and great wisdom.
