Signs and symbols

[Bahasa Indonesia]
I am a big believer in signs and symbols in life, signs and symbols of life. Life loves to drop us small--and not so small--hints on what we should learn and do.

Today, it says I am still not that good at reading those hints.

I was on my way to a friend’s place. I have never been there before. He was kind enough to email us the map. I studied it last night and carefully made a note.

Of course, this morning, I left my note at home. I only realized it when I was entering my friend's area. Sigh. Typical me, I thought. Right, let’s be positive. So I continued driving and tried to picture the route.

I followed that mental picture. I stopped and looked at the block number of the house where I stopped my car. “W. It is supposed to be N,” I thought, “I should return to the main road.”

As I made my turn, I looked to the left. There were several cars there. “That must be it,” I said to myself (Looking back, I am not sure why I thought that). I went over. Sure enough, it was my friend’s place.

I reran that mental map again in my head. I realized where I went wrong.

I missed that small staggered arrow-like turn. I turned left (green line) instead of taking that small right before turning left.

I do that in life as well. I forget the note I have previously made so carefully. I put that stamp “typical me” again and again on everything I think, say or do, until it really does become a typical me. I miss those small staggering unnatural turns that I need to make before heading to where I really want to go.

I paused to read the paragraph above. I too am being hard on myself.

Granted. Let us be kinder to self. If I pay enough attention to what I am doing, I can have very clear mental picture. I contemplate. I do not get that upset when I make mistake (not anymore). I just think of the next step and move on. I trust my instinct a lot and it has saved me in various occasions.

Still, today life tells me that I am passing up those hints that it has so kindly blessed me with – out of impatience, ignorance, and ego.

The truth, that is why I am still missing many hints, signs, and symbols from you as well – out of impatience, ignorance, and ego. Please don’t give up on me.