Chipping in: April 2007

Note: Mi'raj--the first stage (A. Chodjim)

[Bahasa Indonesia]

Mi’raj has often been discussed as a journey that Muhammad has taken from Jerusalem to the seven layers of sky. In each layer of sky (do we call it heaven?), Muhammad met different prophet.

Rarely the mi’raj has been discussed in its more esoteric meaning, as implementation in human life, despite the fact that it is actually a journey to God. The seven heavens are the stages that we need to go through.

In the first heaven, there was Adam. In Arabic, Adam means soil, or earth. It represents the attachment we have with this physical world.

To pass this stage, we need to realize how this attachment has hampered our journey as human. This would is just a facility for us to grow. Happiness does not come from outside; it grows from within.

Hopefully we realize this without we come face to face with death. And we hope we can continue our journey to the next stage.

Complete note of this discussion (in Indonesian) can be downloaded from here.

Accept what can be accepted. Appreciate the difference among us. Each with her/his own’s needs and stage of growth.

Signs

[Bahasa Indonesia]

Do you believe in subtle signs we receive from nature? I do.

When I went home last night, I was listening to a radio talkshow. The topic was "Time to quit your job." Nice topic for the state that I was in. So I thought, hm.

I kept listening to the show. At the very end, at the closing of the talkshow, the announcer said "but if you hold on and stay throughout the thicks and thins of your company, then it would be good for you(r portfolio)."

Hm. Things you learn when you stay (tune) until the end.

Thanks. Friends.

[Bahasa Indonesia]

Yesterday a friend (and a mentor) emailed me to respond to my previous thread. She said, "Have a nice cup of coffee, put on your ipod while watching people passing you by. Life is beautiful." Thank you.

Another friend whom I often confide to asked, "When was the last time you sat down with a friend and poured your heart out?". Good question. I cannot remember. That is just not how things work for me now.

She suggested, "Why don't you have a cup of coffee with your close friend(s) and do that?" She did not realize, in my mind, that was what I was doing with her.

That evening I decided to do what I had not done for a long time. My 11pm nightly appointment with You. I prayed. I confided. For a short while. As I walked out of the room, my cat rushed in and laid down on my prayer mat. So I sat down again. And I meditated. This time for a longer while.

Today is weekend. I am off to yet another forgotten ritual of mine. Saturday's breakfast at a nearby coffeeshop, with only myself, my books and some passer-bys (how do you spell this word btw) as companies.

Thank you. All of you.

And to You: I did not realize how much I have missed my conversation with You. I should have come to You sooner. A lot sooner. Every second of my life. I am so sorry. But I am here now. And I hope You let me, You help me, be here all the time from now on.

Tired

I wish I have something wise to say. I wish I have more contemplative words to convey. I wish I have something positive to tell. But I don't. Not now. I am just simply plainly tired.

There are times when you start wondering what is around the corner. There are times when you start looking for that silver lining in every cloud, any cloud. There are times when you ask yourself which way to go. Or start questioning why, how. My time is now.

I know I am blessed. I know I am so so so lucky. I know things are just the way it should be, the way it needs to be. Life is one great big plan to improve oneself. But what I know and what I feel can be two different things.

And I feel this to my bones. I am just simply plainly tired. Help.

Happy Kartini Day

[Bahasa Indonesia]

The 21st of April is celebrated as Kartini Day in Indonesia. You cannot miss it if you are in Indonesia. You switch on the TV, read a newspapers or a mag, pass by a billboard, go to a shopping center, and you bound to hear “to commemorate Kartini’s legacy..”. To those who observe the day, happy Kartini day to you.

But with all due respect to you and to Ibu Kartini herself, I always wonder about two things (1) how many of us really know the history behind this Kartini Day, and (2) what makes Kartini so special. Why is there Kartini Day but not, for instance, Tjut Nyak Dien Day?

I suppose I should not be so hung up on this. What is more important is the spirit to empower women and to support gender mainstreaming (Speak the lingo, guys). And this is my impression of the day.

I went to a Femina’s seminar on franchising for women today. I was so amazed by the number of people (or rather, women) turned up at the event. So many. And they looked determined as well.

In the morning session, there were two speakers (all male btw). Amir Karamoy and Rhenald Khasali. Pak Amir, to me, spoke more straight to the point. He sticked to the theme of the day: franchising, while Pak Rhenald, absorbing as he was as a public speaker, was talking about more general things (and more relevant to his new book).

It was refreshing to me to learn that during the Q&A session, much more questions were directed to Pak Amir. Participants wanted to know about franchising. It showed determination. It showed single mindedness. I was so proud, somehow.

On another but related topic, this morning's Kompas also featured a female becak driver Ibu Aminah. She has been doing this for five years to support her family of 10 children. Ten children. That’s another subject. But Ibu Aminah is a real hero to me.

All in all, the very fact that we are still celebrating Kartini Day, however, implies that there is something to fight for still. As with the very fact there is a minimum quota for women in the Indonesian parliament. Or a state minister for women empowerment. Or poligamy. Or domestic violence. Or husbands that do not want to have anything to do with domestic chores. Or people saying “must be the mother” when a child goes astray. etc. Long way to go.

Happy Kartini day to all. And happy Kartika to you, han & your fam ;)

Anand Krishna

I met Anand Krishna last night.

Have you ever shaked hands with a person and felt that you want to cry? I have. At least, now I have.

A Year with Rumi, on the 15th of April

[Bahasa Indonesia]

I was curious about what he had written for today. Page 127.

Bewilderment

There are many guises for intelligence.
One part of you is gliding in a high windstream,
while your more ordinary notions
take little steps and peck at the ground.

Conventional knowledge is death to our souls,
and it is not really ours. It is laid on.
Yet we keep saying we find "rest" in these "beliefs".

We must become ignorant of what we have been taught
and be instead bewildered.

Run from what is profitable and comfortable.
Distrust anyone who praises you.
Give your investment money, and the interest
on the capital, to those who are actually destitute.

Forget safety. Live where you fear to live.
Destroy your reputation. Be notorious.
I have tried prudent planning long enough.
From now on. I'll be mad.

Hmm. Wow. Happy birthday.

Mama Loren said..

"In 2012, Indonesia will get better, people are starting to repent and do good."

...

"But the population in Indonesia would be halved. About 40%. The other 60% would be gone."

.he he.

Struggling

[Bahasa Indonesia]

"Hm, something is wrong here. I cannot pull my claws out of this sofa. Ok, breath, relax, I shall be fine"

"Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, umph, umph, rrrrrrrrrr"

"Arrrrghghghghtthhgghg, miauw, miauw. **&*^%^(!!"

"Hmph. Tired. Oh well. Perhaps I should just stay here. Hey, where's that fish? Hungry."

[Model: Miauw, The cat]

Book: Syech Siti Jenar - By Achmad Chodjim

Note: the book is in Indonesian language. Klik ini untuk Bahasa Indonesia.

I finally have finished reading Syech Siti Jenar by Achmad Chodjim. Thanks to the easter long weekend holiday. This posting is mostly taken from the last chapter of the book.

Syech Siti Jenar's view is a blend of middle eastern sufi and Javanese mystics. The emphasis is not physical, rather it is based on Love, in the form of manunggaling kawula kawan Gusti, tauhid al wujud, the oneness of the Creator and the creation.

He argued that religion will be beautiful if it is in line with God's law of nature, which is the existence of various forms and beings, as opposed to uniform existence.

Let religion grows in harmony with wherever it grows, in harmony with the local ecosystem. In his case, it was the land of Java. His teaching is an assimilation of the Arab-based Islam and the Javanese culture.

Alquran, he said, should be understood by its substance. Not an easy thing. Thus, the choice of teacher (guru) is crucial. The teacher should be a concrete manifestation of Alquran, able to provide guidance. Someone who understands the law, smart and with quality ibadah (not sure how to translate this).

Understanding the law means understanding the social rules of life in that particular environment or state. Understanding the life ethics. And the local social values.

Quality ibadah does not mean somebody who do all the rituals. Rather, it means his unconditional dedication to life without wanting anything in return. His sincerity in life which is reflected in his everyday life.

The teacher should be somebody who are able to hold himself together against all the temptations in life. Someone who has smart analitical thought and is proven to be able to face the challenges in life.

Siti Jenar also emphasized on the revival of self. A life with true rights, independence and destiny. An existence that does not dominate nor dominated by other being.

I myself think I need more time to contemplate upon the book, much more to implement it in my life. But I hope this is useful, for you and for me.

April for me

[Bahasa Indonesia]

April always reminds me of Spain. It is the best time to visit Seville, where one of the most majestic and traditional easter celebrations is being held (or staged!).

April is the time for Feria de Abril, a fun fun fun people’s traditional week-long party when practically nobody sleeps in Seville. (And it is not even holidays. They just party the whole night and work by day for a week.)

April was also the time when I moved to Barcelona, for another episode of my life, where I was blessed with the opportunity to stay with the family of such a passionate lady painter.

I would like to thank Spain for the one of fondest life memories I have ever had. It was certainly one of the best birthday presents God has ever given me. You would not know just how much it has helped me grow into what I am today.

Let me link this to my previous post in English. And in Spanish.

Os quiero, y recuerdo. Siempre.

Who are our idols?

[Bahasa Indonesia]

I was listening to Trijaya Radio, Thursday afternoon. The talkshow with Arfan whoever (forgot the last name, could not find his name either in Trijaya website). He was talking about being oneself.

One interesting question from him was: who are your idols? Name three people that you look up to. And Why. Answer to those questions reveal our own important values. Interesting.

So I start to do that exercise for myself. Three people. I can only think of the people who are close to me.

My late father Long term vision. Humble. SImple. Straight to the point. No bull sh*t. Freedom that he gives to his children to grow.

My mom. (terribly) humble. Unlimited patience. Surrender to God. Willingness to be in the shadow of her husband and children (while giving tremendous continuous support).

My aunt. Cheerful and positive in all conditions. Great story teller, full of enthusiasm and expressiveness.

One extra? My sis. Strong as a rock. And the way she rear her children. Simply amazing.

I also respect several public figures. Bill Clinton for his charisma and communication techniques. Mother Theresa for her unconditional sacrifice. Johny Depp for his courage and success in choosing his films and his decision to life away from the glamourous Hollywood (and he's just simply drop dead gorgeous).

My brain kept on rolling. Gus Dur for his brilliance and dark humor. Arwin Rasyid for his strong and humble leadership. Janet Jackson for her six pack (hm, is this respect or envy?). The list obviously is getting too long.

Now, what does being oneself mean? Who is the real me? How do I know? Who am I now? Is what I am now the real me? What's the benefits of being myself? What's the down side? How do I do that?

Ah, so many questions going on in my head. As always. Me being me.

Discussion: Muhammad as a role model

[Bahasa Indonesia]

I (finally) have decided to share the notes I make during my religious study sessions in the blog. I made this particular one last week on making Muhammad as a role model, in conjuction with the celebration of the birth of Muhammad. The session was led by Achmad Chodjim.

Anyone who longs for a meeting with God until the end of time, who always remember God, can make Muhammad as his/her role model. (QS 33:21).

QS 7:157 stated that Muhammad is always accompanied by “the light”, or more specifically, the spiritual light. Although he is no longer with us physically, the light still exists. This light is what we should seek.

Muhammad Al Ghazali divides role modeling into three categories. Some mimic Muhammad's physical appearance or literally without understanding the context and history behind it. Some learns from those who have already understood. And some learn through his/her own searching and contemplation.

During the session, Achmad Chodjim focused on the third. We look and learn from Muhammad's efforts in seach for the light. Then things will unfold by itself.

The more we receive the light, the more we will be guided, the more we will be civilised, and the ego will be underplayed. We will no longer depend on what other people are saying. All we need to do is to contemplate.

We will not be easily provoked, and will not use the religion for our own selfish purpose. Much easier said than done, I know.

Complete version (In Indonesian only unfortunately) can be downloaded here.

Please accept what can be accepted and appreciate the differences among us. To each his or her own needs and stage of growth.

Hee Ah Lee, the four-finger pianist

[Bahasa Indonesia]

Last week Jakarta was honored with the arrival of Hee Ah Lee. She held a sold out solo concert. I will let you decide yourself by watching the video below I have linked from YouTube. Courtesy of Sammania.

The effort, persistence, courage and love that have built this. Amazing.

Happy easter, everyone

[Bahasa Indonesia]

Love and peace throughout the world. And within.

Here are some pictures from one of the most amazing easter celebrations in the world: Semana Santa in Seville, Spain.

Patience

[Bahasa Indonesia]

Patience seems to be the lesson of the week (or is it the lesson of a lifetime?) for me.

I have been feeling impatience these last couple of months. I thought it was boredom. But it looks like boredom is just the symptom. Patience (or rather, the lack of it) is the problem.

I realized that when I was complaining about something to a friend. And all she said at the end was: “(Just do it) one by one. You will never know”. I stopped complaining that very minute. I knew she was right. The path has been set. All I have to do is walk it.

‘Coincidently’, I received an sms from another friend yesterday. She told me about a quranic study session which I have not been in for about two years. I attended the session because I happenned to be in the area. Guess what the main topic was: patience. One of the few things we should ask from God, through prayer and by doing good.

They say that God is with those who are patient. So the teacher in the session asked "Does patience has a limit?". He then said yes, when God is no longer with us. So when you lose your patience, you know who you are with, or without.

He also pointed out that patience needs knowledge. Just like when you cook rice, if you know that it will take about 15-20 minutes for the rice to be cooked, then you will be patience during those 15-20 minutes. Interesting points.

There you go. I have been told about what to do and how to do it. Patience definitely is the lesson of the week (or of a lifetime?) for me.

Patience, persistence and stamina. With blessing, protection and guidance from You. The path has been set. All I have to do is walk it.

-I told you I would write about you someday.-

Judging a book by its cover. Just don't

I had just had my lunch in this small place in the alley near my office earlier today. As I turned the corner near a streethawker selling cigarettes, I saw this middle-age lady talking on her cell phone.

She had caught my eyes even from a distance. In the middle of the day, sun shining literally on top of your head, she wore this comfy no-sleeve cotton night gawn, bright green with flowery red pattern. Her hair a bit curly and untidy. Smoking a cigarette while talking on the phone. Standing by a streethawker, choosing something.

Can you imagine her? Right. Then I passed by her, and I could hear what she was saying. She said to her friend on the phone "Then (s)he wanted to enter the Indonesian market at 1.3%, I tell you, is (s)he out of his/her mind.."

I must say, I was a bit, um, taken by surprise. I spontaneously looked at her with this awe in my face. Luckily she was too busy with her phone conversation.

Lesson of the day. Never judge a book by its cover. Not even when it is bright green with flowery red pattern.

Revealing: me

I had a short conversation today with a friend. She shared her hesitation to link her personal blog to her office blog. It was too personal, she said.

I saw her blog. I can perfectly understand how personal it is to her. In fact, I can say it is so beautifully personal. From a mother to a child. I can feel the emotion. The abundance of love.

I too hesitated to enter the blogsphere once. I too used the same reason, or in my case, excuse. My feeling was just too personal.

But in my case, there was more to it than just being personal. It was more about my lack of ability to share my feeling, my inner thoughts. It was about my ego, or the illusion of ego which I have crafted for so long to show the tough me.

Writing a blog as personal as mine was like revealing the inner me to the world. This put me in a fragile situation.

Then there was the fact that I might hurt someone. I know myself: I am not the most diplomatic person in the world. And I did not want (more) conflict in my life.

At the end, I decided to go for it. I use the blog to share my thoughts. As a training ground for my writing skills. More importantly, use it as a training ground to speak my mind without hurting somebody, trying to see anything from a different perspective, from a more positive point of view.

Most importantly though, use it as a training ground to reveal myself. Revealing: me.

And I want to say this to that friend of mine who hesitated to share her blog: what you are sharing is beatiful. I rarely read a blog and felt such strong feeling (of love). Please don’t stop. And certainly don’t hesitate.

"Let it go"

This happened more than 10 years ago.

I was in Mecca with my family. We had just got off from a taxi, when I realized that I had left my jacket in the taxi. I panicked. Then my father held my hand, looked me in the eyes, and said: "Let it go."

I still panicked and tried to get my jacket back. My father held my hand even stronger, looked me in the eyes even deeper, and repeated what he had just said: "Let it go." I finally let go.

Even today, whenever I lose someone or something, or whenever I realize I am holding on to something or someone too tight, I tell myself: "Let it go."

Love you, pop.

So me

I went home quite late. Would I make it to my yoga class, I thought. D*mned, the traffic was extra bad. Not helping.

I said to myself, "If I can get home by 7.45, I will go to the class."

The clock ticked, and ticked. The car was going somewhere alright, but very slowly. "Right, 7.50 is still ok."

Tick, tick, tick. Oh what the heck, I thought. Whatever the time would be, I would still go to the class.

Yeah yeah, I know. I can here my friend saying, "That is so you."

I got home by 7.55p. Rushed to change my clothes and went straight to the gym. Only to find out that my yoga teacher was not coming. Sigh. What a joke. The whole day has been.

There was a replacement teacher. Suddenly my mood for yoga was gone. "Perhaps I should just do treadmill. Or grab a cup of coffee somewhere. Cup of hot coffee. Yeah, that is what I would do."

Then another yoga teacher passed by and asked, "Why aren't you at the class?". I straightforwardly had another change of mind, change of mood, "Yes, I am about to go".

There you go. Talk about a quick change(s) of heart. Yes, I hear that again, "That is so you."

The yoga class turned out to be longer than usual. We had the nicest relaxation session. A nice way to end a very 'funny' day.

Belated happy April fool's day.

Pak Mus - 2

One of our favorite 'hang out' places while we were in Aceh. The great and solemn Masjid Raya Banda Aceh.

Pak Mus

A dear friend has just passed away. Bapak Mustafa Alatas. We worked together for a little over a month in Banda Aceh a couple of years ago. He was also the father of another dear friend.

He was such a kind man. He never raised his voice even in the most stressful situation. He always thought of everybody else in the team. There was not a single arrogant thread in his soul. He was a good teacher.

Several days ago, on one sunny day, Pak Mus went to a friend’s funeral in Bogor. He felt exhausted. He took a rest at a relative’s house in Bogor. There he felt a chest pain, then he passed away.

I went to his house that night. I met his wife. His wife greeted me with a smile. She thanked me for coming and asked me to forgive Pak Mus’s mistakes.

She went on telling some people there what had happened. She was so strong. She accepted and went on living. I seldom have seen people or family this strong. And kind.

I supposed, he is still a good teacher even after he has passed away.

So long, Pak. It was an honor to have you as a friend. I might catch up with you some day.

Pic: Aceh sky.

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