Chipping in

National awakening day - 1

[Bahasa Indonesia]
Heard this song yesterday at a client's event. It has managed to give me the chill every time I listen to it. Every single time.

Indonesia Jaya
First made famous by Harvey Malaiholo

Hari-hari terus berlalu
Tiada pernah berhenti
Seribu rintangan jalan berliku
Bukan suatu penghalang

Hadapilah segala tantangan
Mohon petunjuk yang kuasa
Ciptakanlah kerukunan bangsa
Kobarkanlah dalam dada
Semangat jiwa Pancasila

Hidup tiada mungkin
Tanpa perjuangan
Tanpa pengorbanan
Mulia adanya
Berpeganglah tangan
Satu dalam cinta
Demi masa depan
Indonesia jaya

Perfect song for Indonesia's national awakening day. Wake up.

That night

[Bahasa Indonesia]
I lay awake in bed, a familiar comfy bed of mine. Yet not comfy enough to put myself to sleep. I am wide awake.

It is dark and chilly. The rain is pouring down hard outside. I can feel the breeze. Cold. The street starts to lose its capacity to contain the water. An overflow is unavoidable. It is a matter of time.

I can sense the mouses, white mouses, just outside my bedroom getting restless. They know the water is coming. Into their home.

Then all hell breaks loose. The rainwater pours into the mouses' home. They run. Out of their home and into my room. They pass by me. Up my back and down again. There are so many of them. Too many. I can feel each mouse coming up my back and jumping off from my shoulders.

I shudder a bit, naturally. I can feel the tingling sense but somehow I am not panicking. Even when one is stuck somewhere in my upper back and I have to take it off. I understand.

Their house has been flooded. They are the ones who are panicking, not I am. They have the right to be. I understand. So I let them pass. I watch, I sense them pass.

I walk into the kitchen. The sun is already shining brightly. It looks like the hard rain has chased all the clouds away, temporarily. It is a large middle age kitchen. White wall. Burgundy tiling. Wooden doors.

Ah, the large wooden doors. Majestic. There are three of them. One going to the living area, one to the backyard, and another to the garage.

My sister walks in and asks why there are so many doors. Actually, she is asking why there are doors at all. “Take them all off,” she says. We do as we have been told. She is right. The sun now shines into the house. It feels much breezier, much fresher.

The whole family takes a stroll outside. Quite a large close-knitted group walking happily together. I have a sense of where we are going, so I am wondering why we take the long way round.

The sister is there again. I ask her why and she simply says, “Because the children want to.” As if that explains everything. It probably does. Because I ask no more questions. No more. I know it is going to be ok.

A rare desire to share. Until next time, if there is any.

PS: Floor, I have found the green book you gave me. We both know what that means.

I am still struggling to find the balance though. Perhaps it takes more time to readjust. Re-adjust, because I am adjusting yet once again.

Hunger – 2

[Bahasa Indonesia]
Some time ago, a friend forwarded me this link, which tells a story about an animal pound in the city where animals are needlessly suffering and some are left to die. *sigh*

It is the hunger topic again. This time it is about animals. Yet another tear drop from my eyes.

I promised that friend that I would put this up on my blogs, hoping somehow it will make a difference. Apology for the long delay.

It is a wonder how we often fall for animals, but not for human. We feel the pity when we see animals in pain, but choose to ignore humans who are in agony.

Or maybe it is just too painful for us to see, that we decide to look away and move on with our beautiful happy life, probably out of fear of getting hurt inside.

I think, as are children, animals are there to touch us deeper, with their innocence, honesty, and vulnerability.

When trust, unconditional love, and affection start to grow from within us, we can extend ourselves and learn to love others as well. To be affectionate and lend our hands to animals, nature and humankind alike.

Look who is learning to love now. And we thought we were the ones who are doing them a favor.

Hunger - 1

[Bahasa Indonesia]
I have been postponing to write this entry for quite some time. I saw the news on TV quite a while ago about hunger in this country.

A mother and her two young sons died of hunger at home. Malnutrition everywhere in certain regions. Hunger in the middle of this very city that I live in, whose streets I pass by every single day. I really don't think I need to put a picture here.

My heart broke. My tears as well.

To think that there is hunger in this tropical agricultural maritime country is beyond my common sense. To think that it happens on my doorstep without me--us?--doing anything much is beyond tolerance.

I sms-ed several friends. I received heart warming responses.

I know there is a vast, beyond-my-comprehension problem in the country that has led us to this situation, both the hunger and the ignorance. I understand very well that there should be a structural—almost political—change to improve the situation. I know.

Still, one response which the little ordinary me hold dearest to my heart was an invitation to do what we can, to be kind and attentive to those who are around us.

That office boy who serves us coffee everyday at work. That personal/taxi/bus/bajaj driver who takes us places at almost always “the speed of light”. That street hawker, that vegetable seller, that boy in the red-white stripe T shirt which we might not even notice.

Do we know whether they will have food on their table tonight? Do we know whether their kids have been well fed and have managed to stay in school? Do we even care?

I have been postponing to write this entry for quite some time. Because I did not know the solution to this problem. I still do not.

But perhaps that is my very problem. That is our problem. We feel so puzzled, insignificant and powerless that we do not do anything. At all.

It is time to do something. Anything. Start giving. Please.

Old friends, old me

[Bahasa Indonesia]
You know how you feel that you have traveled so far sometimes only to find out that you are still the old you? That you have not changed that much?

That is how I feel now. I have met some new friends this last month and rekindled with some old ones.

How they have managed to take me back through time and rediscover the person that I have not been for such a long time.

Hey me, it has indeed been a long time. I did not realize how much I have missed me. I had a great time.

Lightness in my heart. Big grin on my face. And malfunction in the brain :p

Turns out that me is not so bad after all. Perhaps it is time to let that me shines for yet one more time, with a slight twist courtesy of time.

*hugs*

Postpone the desire

[Bahasa Indonesia]
My sister has just returned from a parenting training. They discussed a lot of things. Among which was the fact that the trainer advised the participants to train their children to postpone their (meaning: the children's) desire.

When children ask for something, parents do not necessarily have to obey the wishes immediately. Delay them appropriately. Give a pause between the wishes and the fulfillment.

This, the trainer said, would train the children to have pauses in life. To not act reactively (instinctively and emotionally) at that very instance. To think before they respond to any stimuli in life. Thus, to act wisely. Ouch.

Very interesting, I thought. What a great habit to teach in such a simple manner. I know it is best to think before we act. I know that it is good to postpone one’s desire. But I never link the two together, at least not when it comes to child-rearing activities.

I will let my two great teachers tell the rest of the story in this entry.

Jalal-ad-din Rumi said that, “The beginning of pride and hatred lies in worldly desire, and the strength of your desire is from habit. When an evil tendency becomes confirmed by habit, rage is triggered when anyone restrains you.”

Then he said, “If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?” Good one, teach. How should we do this? How do we restrain our desire? Along came my other teacher, Al Ghazali.

In his book Disciplining the Soul (which probably ranks among the most influential books in my life), Al-Ghazali quoted Yahya ibn Muadh al Razi, “Fight your soul with the sword of self-discipline. These are four: eating little, sleeping briefly, speaking only when necessary, and tolerating all the wrongs done to you by men. For eating little slays desire, sleeping briefly purifies your aspirations, speaking little saves you from afflictions, and tolerating wrongs will bring you to the goal—for the hardest thing for a man is to be mild when snubbed and to tolerate the wrongs which are done against him.” (Al Ghazali, Disciplining the Soul, p57)

You’re absolutely right. Tolerating wrongs is among the most challenging task. How can I hold myself from confronting the people who have snubbed or wronged me? When should I say something and when I should remain silent?

He (Al Ghazali) then said, “A man once enquired Umar ibn Abd Al-Azis, ‘When should I speak?’ And he replied, ‘Whenever you wish to remain silent.’ ‘And When should I be silent?’ the man asked, and Umar replied, ‘Whenever you wish to speak.’ (Al Ghazali, Disciplining the Soul, p59)

I nodded my head. Right. But then, I became puzzled with the statement. Looks like I am still learning.

Let’s just start from the beginning then. Like what my sister’s trainer said. Postpone the desire. Ours. Not the children's.

All the options in the world

[Bahasa Indonesia]
I was traveling out of town recently. I took the public transport to go just about anywhere. I did not mind at all. In fact, I enjoyed it.

Until on the last evening, I was about to meet a friend at a place where my usual mode of transport did not exist. So I took a taxi instead, due to lack of time and probably lack of energy to explore other options.

As I sat at the back seat of the taxi, I gazed through the taxi window, enjoying the beautiful houses, trees, cars, and lights that passed me by. I realized the luxury of taking a taxi, a comfy vehicle dedicated only to take you personally anywhere you want.

Then I hit me. I have taken a humbler mode of mass transport throughout the journey, but I always, always, always have that other more-privileged option(s) had I wanted to.

As with the many cases in my life.

The likes of Linked-in and Facebook have allowed us to reconnect with long lost friends. One day I showed a friend (professional) titles of several old friends, high up in the management ladder.

I said, “Look at them. Look at me. What am I compared to them?” I paused and I continued, “I am a person who choose not to be.”

I could be like them if I wanted to. I know I have that option. An option which I did not take. Well, the option that I once took but no more.

The truth is I am blessed with all the options in the world—probably much more than many other people are. To which a dear friend wisely responded, “Then use it well. Make the best choice possible.”

So I reverted to You to make the choice for me, as I know nobody else would be able to make such grand choice(s). Not in the way You can.

Thank you. And, as always, Thank You.

No more questions

[Bahasa Indonesia]
I had lunch with a dear friend, a mentor last Friday. I had quite a number of things to do at work, but when she called, I could not possibly say no.

She now lives abroad and is visiting the town for a couple of days. We have not had a chat for a long time.

That very dear friend was the one who ‘guided’ me throughout my ups and downs (and downs) about two to four years ago. At that time, I had so many questions and uncertainties. Restless. Fatigue.

Yet she patiently guided me throughout my journey, whether it was the journey out of town or the journey within.

Her first suggestion, I remember, was to “slow down everything. Do one thing at one time. Let your body and mind relax. If your process to surrender is through meditation and prayer, then do it.

Don’t force the process using your thought. Our mind is our obstacle. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart & lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight"

Release all your wants, needs, request, expectation, thoughts. Breathe slowly with only one thing in the consciousness, that we are His. Let Him work with us and accept anything and everything that He gives you every single day.

Look, feel, smell and touch everything around you. The floor, wall, house, road, tree, people, car, paper, words, language, music, sounds, flower. Anything, each day, each second.

Until one day you will understand, then you will burst to deep tears. Tears of happiness, joy and understanding.”

Those beautiful words marked the start of the journey of a lifetime that had been postponed for a long time, too long.

Yesterday, however, was a different chat. We talked and laughed about work and life. It was a dialog rather than a consultation. It was heart-warming still and pleasurable.

As we entered the car to return to our 'real life', I told her, “I have no more questions.” I have been asking a lot of questions all my life about life itself, but now I am left speechless without any question to ask.

There is no point of asking or questioning, when deep inside you already know that you know. Or at least, believe.

Saturday morning

[Bahasa Indonesia]
What a great start for the weekend.

Having finished an email for a certain Uncle Bill, I had a conference chat with two of my dearest friends. (We were all online at 8am Saturday. Is it a wonder that we are friends? *sigh*).

The chat started with “all ready with your own cup of tea”? :)

I was not. So I quickly went and got my warm cup. (Weirdos. Love you to bits). Then we went on chatting about everything and nothing.

In the midst of the chat, my brother—who is always a cook enthusiast—called for a real breakfast. He has prepared tomato omelette and two types of garlic bread for us all.

I took small breaks in between the chat to have some quick bites (and answered some text messages plus wrote this entry).

My mom, brother and cousin were at the dining table, with, needless to say, Miauw the cat—an integral part of the family.

It is now 11AM and I am still chatting with friends and fam.

What a great start for the weekend. *Big warm hugs*

Candles and I

[Bahasa Indonesia]

Candles and I go a long long way back. Any close friends of mine would tell you "Oh Eva and her candles..[sigh]". Just to give you an idea of how fascinated I am toward this simple thing.

I am not sure how my fascination to candles or candle-like atmosphere started. They are just simply amazing. The warmth that glows from their light is so enticing, almost seductive.

I can sit still for quite a while just to gaze at its light or to enjoy the color it has created in the surrounding area. I feel at peace. Warm. Smile.

So when a friend gave me a candle holder (along with several candles) as a present that 'suits me', it was a sure bet. Good instinct.

Hatur nuhun kangge hadiahna. Teu nginten. Tadi enjing parantos ngawitan nyarengan meditasi sareng padamelan abdi. Karaos haneuteun :)

Jesus!

I went to Starbucks the other day. The place was packed as usual. This young cheerful chubby male barista greeted me, with a huge smile and enthusiastic voice.

I caught a glimpse of the barista’s name tag. It read “Jesus”.

No wonder Starbucks is doing so well these days :p

"On my own"

Hey, Son, I came across this music video.

Sure brings back a lot of memories and emotions, as only you and a selected few have witnessed.

The video could not have been more eighties. But with eyes closed, the words and music still do their magic. *snif*

On My Own - the lyrics
Sometimes I wonder where I've been
Who I am
Do I fit in.
Make believin' is hard alone,
Out here on my own

We're always provin' who we are
Always reachin' for the risin' star
To guide me far
And shine me home
Out here on my own

When I'm down and feelin' blue
I close my eyes so I can be with you
Oh, baby, be strong for me
Baby, belong to me
Help me through
Help me need you

Until the morning sun appears
Making light of all my fears
I dry the tears
I've never shown
Out here on my own

When I'm down and feelin' blue
I close my eyes so I can be with you
Oh, baby, be strong for me
Baby, belong to me
Help me through
Help me need you

Sometimes I wonder where I've been
Who I am
Do I fit in
I may not win
But I can't be thrown
Out here on my own
On my own

Remember? Because I do.

So what?

[Bahasa Indonesia]
Every communications person would know the 5W1H principle – the who what where when why and how of telling a story. And to some, there is another important question: so what? Why should the audience care about it?

So what was also the question that came to mind when I chatted with a friend a couple of nights ago. A kind man who likes to chat with (extra-ordinary) ordinary people. He likes to sit around the sidewalk to chat with the likes of street hawkers.

I do too. It is amazing to hear their stories. They always manage to put me back in my place, to feel thankful but at the same time to feel that I am nothing compared to them.

At that night during my conversation with friend, the question just popped out of my mouth: so what? So you like to listen to their stories, so what? What are you going to do about the stories? How are you going to use these stories to help make change, to self and to others?

I think that is a question that should ask more often to myself. So I like spiritual discussions. So I like yoga. So I like talking to my stuff animal. So I like writing this blog. So what? How would that make me a better person? How would that benefit others around me?

Thanks for the chat. And the reminder.

Home sweet home

[Bahasa Indonesia]
Today has been tiring, physically and emotionally. It has been a very long day as well. I woke up at five a.m. after only three hours of sleep. Then off to work. And work. And work. Until about six-seven in the evening. Then I went to a friend’s place (little old ambitious me) until about 12.30 a.m. Dead tired.

That is, until I arrived at home at 1 a.m. Then I somehow felt completely refreshed. And started to turn on my computer to write this entry.

Earlier today I SMS-ed a friend because I was weighing what I should do tomorrow. Let’s see. I have three religious/spiritual discussion groups that I can choose from. Then I said, there is always an option to stay home. She said: home.

She was of course absolutely right. If I need to choose out of all four options, which is the most spiritually relaxing activity? It would be to stay at home.

It is amazing what home can do to you. Thank You.

As you said, until now, there is no other place on earth that we feel most comfortable in. Well, for us the fortunate ones. There are people who do not have a home. There are people who have big house(s) yet never feel at home. We are indeed the lucky ones.

PS: one statement from the discussion in the friend's house earlier tonight: "Act of kindness is the universal truth." Beautiful.

I asked for a small chapel…

[Bahasa Indonesia]
I kept being drawn to this area. Well, “pulled” would be a better word. You kept giving me ‘reasons’ to go there.

First, it was the temptation to go to that favorite outdoor shop of mine. I resisted. Then a friend asked if I could buy her a product which rumors have it is sold in that area. I still resisted and bought the product in a different shop in different area instead.

At last, You have managed to get me there because another friend insisted for us to meet near that area. Fine, I will go there.

And so I went. After my lunch, I went about the neighborhood. Grudgingly. You have got me here, and now what? Unfair. Show me a sign. I went to the outdoor shop and did not see anything that tickled my fancies. Right, I still don’t know what I am here for.

Suddenly. Taa daah.. Singapore’s Saint Andrew’s Cathedral. Wow. Yesterday I asked God to show me a Catholic church. A favorite refuge of mine. Yesterday I did not find any. Then I forgot all about it.

I supposed someone still remembers.

And more.

I have only asked for a simple small catholic church, or even a chapel, for me to sit still in silence. You have given me the cathedral instead.

.speechless.

A perfect reflection

[Bahasa Indonesia]
This is the second time in a row I have used the word “perfect”. Life must be good.

We sat together for the thousandth time. And each time, it was a bliss.

A perfect afternoon (the sun was smiling wide and the sky was so blue) in a perfect café (good food, helpful staff, nice crowd) and us sitting by the window overlooking the green square and people passing by around us.

We talked a bit about work. We talked more on personal life. We talked families, feelings, and journeys. We talked about our happiness and restlessness.

I think there is very little that I would not say to you. I will answer anything that you ask. I tell you all things that you do not.

We talked about us being the eternal strong one. The problem solver in love and life. People living a simple life with nothing to hide.

A life so simple that there is nothing for us to tell. Not a single complain. Life is simple. Life is good. All is well. We are strong.

Until one moment during that conversation, the harsh truth sank in. (Oops, I have just seen you gone online! At this odd hour). We have been just too pride to admit or even to realize. The fortress is so high that even we cannot see what is inside. All is good, all is made of strong stones.

Allow yourself to be weak, to be fragile, I said. Or was it you who said it? It is not that important. It does not matter. It is the same. The statement goes both ways. As usual.

Because you are my perfect reflection. What I say to you, I say to myself. Your stories are my stories. When I listen to you, I listen to myself, with great joy and sadness. What you feel (or you think you feel) is always something scarily familiar to me.

No wonder I never hesitate to tell you stories. From the first time. I am merely talking to myself. There is nothing to be ashamed of. You know. Because somehow you are.

I love you as a dear friend. Always have. Always will. Thank you for being such a translucent mirror, a perfect reflection for me. However reluctant we are to admit it occasionally.

I had a great stress-relieving time. Thank you.

PS: Remember that picture we took together that came out blur? Hmph. Perhaps some things are better kept to self. Or rather, just between you and me. The garbage can for each other.

A perfect trip

[Bahasa Indonesia]
“So how was your trip?” a friend asked. I answered directly, “It was perfect.” Without any doubt or hesitation.

Does that sound too positive? Perhaps. Nevertheless, that is how I feel about the trip. I will not talk details here. But just to give you an idea.

It was only a short trip. About five days four nights. A one and a half hour flight which I have taken many times. But this time, it feels different.

It was the right time. To chill. To get away for a bit.

It was the right balance between time alone, time with books, and time with friends. I did not realize how long it has been since I last traveled alone. I did not realize how much I have missed it.

It was the right mix of friends. Those whom I hold so dear to me. Those whom I have not seen for quite some time. Those with whom I can be my relaxed and open self.

It was the right place to stay. The apartment of an old friend. One of my dearest friends who has watched me—who has allowed me to— grow to be what I am today. I could not have picked a better place to stay for this trip.

It was the right activities. Chilling out at the apartment. Chatting with friends. Having lunch, dinner, and coffee. (some work-related deadlines and not-so-work-related emails). Watching cartoon on TV. Getting therapies. Hablando con mis amigas españolas. Learning about the therapy. People-spotting. Doing nothing. Shopping. More chatting. Glaring. Reading books. Oh and walking. That’s a nice one. Long slow strolls.

And I am officially in love with Craniosacral Therapy. Thank you, Kheng. Thank you, Martyn. Thank you, Heather.

I am back now. Bring it on!

ps: remind me to post some pictures here.

"If I Ain't Got You"

This one is for you, God. It's been a long time.

ps: am deleting the word "baby" from the lyrics as I have never referred to You using such word. Perhaps I should :p

Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power
Some people live just to play the game
Some people think that the physical things
Define what's within
And I've been there before
But that life's a bore
So full of the superficial

[Chorus:]
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't You
If I ain't got You
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got You

Some people search for a fountain
That promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love them
Hand me the world on a silver platter
And what good would it be
With no one to share
With no one who truly cares for me

[Chorus:]
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't You
If I ain't got You
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got You, You, You
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't You
If I ain't got You
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got You

[Outro:]
If I ain't got You with me
So nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing
If I ain't got You with me

PPS: I feel like Whoopy Goldberg in SisterAct.

A close list

[Bahasa Indonesia]
I give you a hint on how to note when I feel close with someone.

It is when I get chatty, when I cannot wait to chat about how my day(s) has been, and how I feel. When I talk more than she or he does, or at least 50-50.

And when I start to reveal the not-so-composed me.

I don’t think I have added a new person on this “close” list for quite some time. Not that I am trying to be exclusive or anything. I supposed it is just a matter of natural selection. And my personal inner-process.

But I have added you recently. And I want you to know, as with other people on that not-so-long list, you can call me up anytime, even years from now, to simply says, “Coffee?”, and I will directly say yes. I will make time.

It is a promise. A pleasure. An honor.

PS: No, this is not what I meant by "the last entry". The previous one.

Unsaid

[Bahasa Indonesia]
I have written some words for this inexplicable unexplainable day. I have taken some pictures for illustration with my hand phone.

The pictures have been marked for later upload. Then deleted, by mistake. Stunned. Deep breath. Eyes wide shut for a brief moment.

Perhaps some things are better left unsaid. As I have been softly spoken of lately, it is time for silence. For yet another time. To stay silent whilst continuing the walk.

For words are limiting and misleading.

Only in silence, you said, we can really listen. Only in silence we can truly honestly communicate. And understand.

Thank you. Miss you. Although it has crossed my mind, I guess you really do think I am that strong.

The City of Saba (2)

Page 219 of A Year with Rumi.
Enjoyed solo without much else.
Shared with cappuccino and muffin.

The people of Saba feel bored
with just the mention of prophecy.

They have no desire of any kind. Maybe some
idle curiosity about miracles, but that's it.

This over-richness is a subtle disease.
Those who have it are blind to what's wrong,
and deaf to anyone who points it out.

The city of Saba cannot be understood
from within itself, but there is a cure,
an individual medicine, not a social remedy.

Sit quietly and listen for a voice
that will say, Be more silent.

As that happens, your soul starts to revive.
Give up talking, and your positions of power.
Give up the excessive money.

Turn toward the teachers and the prophets
who do not live in Saba. They will help you
grow sweet again, and fragrant and wild and fresh,
and thankful for any small event.

personal note: I am missing my Rumi. snif.

Note: Prayer

[Bahasa Indonesia]
It’s been quite some time since I last attended Pak Arif’s quran study. I forgot how down to earth his teaching is. It was a gentle reminder to retrospect and evaluate my steps in life thus far.

The discussion that night was about prayer. A participant asked how we can ensure that our prayer does not backlash on us. Real prayer never does, Pak Arif said.

Al Qur'an said that “all things go back to God [as their source]” (for instance in 3:109). But have we really returned all things that we are or that we do to Him? I doubt it, at least in my case. We pray for what we desire, for what we think is good fur us.

We forget that each of us is here with specific role and function. We forget that there is a master plan in life. We forget to go back to God and ask, so what’s Your plan and how can I help?

We forget to obey God’s law, or if you prefer the law of nature, the karmic law, what goes around comes around. We forget to do good. We have what a friend called “the most unfortunate person syndrome” – we think life is full of problems and not blessings.

So here’s a tip from Pak Arif: from the time we wake up, remember God (or if you prefer, remember Love, remember the Higher being in us), be thankful of all the things that we have (even the simplest thing such as our sights and hearing), pray for protection from God, pray to ask God what His plan is and what we should do. Close the prayer with feeling of thankfulness, understanding how blessed we are with our live.

So that our life be guided and we can function as we all should be, which is to be a blessing to all.

Complete note of the study (in Indonesian) is here.

Hypothetically speaking..

[Bahasa Indonesia]
A discussion with a colleague.

C: Who is going to do such and such in an event?
Me: We have Colleague B to do the job.
C: What if he is sick?
Me: Well, we have me. I can do it.
C: Yeah, but what if you are not around?
Me: I am already a Plan B. How many backup plans do you need?

Funny as it may seem, this conversation happens a lot to you and certainly to me. We keep worrying over hypothetical situations.

In a world of maybes and what-ifs, we decide to stay within our comfort zone and take a lot of precautions. Too many?

Then we complain about our life. We claim that we are stuck where we are in life, without any choice. Hm.

We refrain from taking that extra bold step in life. Steps that may probably allow us to realize our potentials and fulfill our real purpose in this world.

Perhaps only the mavericks act differently. Perhaps. In good time.

Good that God is extra patience. With all the potentials and wonders that He has carefully crafted and we have ignorantly passed, in the name of so called security. If only we knew.

Yoga Miauw

Uttanasana - standing forward bend

Adho mukha svanasana - downward facing dog

Sarvangasana - shoulder stand

Savasana - corpse pose

.namaste.

ps: Revised based on suggestion from a friend. (You mean there are people who do not know what adho mukha svanasana is??? ;p )

pic: ABC-of-yoga.com

The luxury of choosing

[Bahasa Indonesia]
People often refer to me as “lucky” that I have the choice to do certain things, a lot of things. I consider myself blessed.

Not just because I have the luxury of choices. But also the luxury of having the courage to make the choice and face the consequences.

I think this is what is lacking from a lot of people. We often say we do not have any choice. A recipe for disaster.

I strongly believe that we always have the choice. It is a matter of having the keenness to notice them, the courage to make them, and the integrity to experience the consequence.

It was not until a couple of weeks ago that I realize where I have that belief. I was traveling and chatting with an amazing friend. She said, “You are lucky that your parents have raised you to be like that.” Come to think of it, she was spot on.

My father, a pain as he was when I was little *kiddin, pop*, together with my ever-loving mom have allowed me to grow the way I want myself to be, to try (almost) anything I want to try, and to taste the consequences.

I have the choices. I can make them. You have as well. You can, too.

I have made good calls, and some bad calls. But that is ok. Such experimental life has allowed me to see, to believe that I always have the choice, each comes with its own consequences.

The consequences that I have been willing to take because I know it will allow me to make the leap. To be where I am today. To be where I can be in the future.

And for that, I have my father and mother to thank. Thank you. Thank You. I keep learning everyday what you have done to me, for me. Amazing.

Look around, look down

[Bahasa Indonesia]
First occurrence
“She has vast knowledge but is stingy.” A passing comment from a friend. She runs a foundation for children education. The comment was about me to her colleagues in the foundation.

Am I really stingy? Have I really that vast knowledge to share?

Second occurrence
A questionnaire that I am filling in. One of the questions wrote: “ask your friends what they consider to be your greatest weakness”. The answer from three friends: thinking too much, too laid back, and belief in self. Wow, am I really?

.Hm.

Third occurrence

A large banner in Djoger shop in Bali, saying: “If you can, don’t just look up.”

That was it. How much bolder should a message be?

We (too) often think that we are a nobody. We look up and never down. I am just starting. I still have a lot more to learn. There is so much more yet to achieve.

We undermine the knowledge, the experience and the exposure we have gained throughout our life, our education, our work. We thirst for more knowledge, more experience, more wealth.

Don't we realize that the majority of people in a lot of regions do not even have elementary education? do not have basic food for everyday survival? have not ever traveled outside of their town? Ignorant us. Ignorant me.

This insecurity gives us the false sense of earning the right to receive. We have forgotten to give or to share. We forget that perhaps even the simplest things to us are luxuries to others.

So perhaps I am stingy. I think too much. I don’t do enough, too laid back. I don’t realize my potentials. I often look up, and seldom down.

At either case, the time has come to give, to share.

.start doing something. Anything.

Gift

[Bahasa Indonesia]
Exactly one year ago, a friend/teacher/supervisor of mine passed away. Pak Mustafa Alatas.

Last week his daughter--another dear friend of mine--called for a cup of coffee. She wanted to give me a small book and CD. A compilation of her late father’s beautiful writing and music collection.

It was the sweetest gesture.

Pak Mus, you have raised your daughter well. She has your thoughtfulness, sincerity, and kindness.

The greatest gift a father can pass to his children.

The golden moments

Sunrise and sunset are often referred to as the golden moments in photography.

I wonder when the last time I did nothing but embraced these golden moments.

When did you?

Sad, isn't it?

Me and books

[Bahasa Indonesia]
Me and books go a long way back. They are among my best friends in the world. They have taken me further than I can even imagine. I thank them for it. I thank my mom and dad for it.

I was at a friend’s place. She has opened a small library for children in her neighborhood. I shared with her my love for books. I told her when it all began.

When I was little, mom used to take to the market several times a week. She almost always left me in a nearby local bookstore.

The owner kindly allowed me to roam around the store and read whatever my heart pleased. Comics, atlas, history, geography, general knowledge, anything. My love for books grew.

Dad too nurtured my love for reading. Even when I was still in elementary school, he almost obliged me to read newspapers before I left for school.

He discussed several issues from the papers with me. My love for reading grew. And so was my ability (and keenness) to analyze things.

Me and books go a long way back. We have a long way to go, still. I just hope that every kid has the same opportunity. If only they realize how far they can travel, intellectually and imaginatively speaking.

I thank the books for many things. I thank my mom and dad, too.

A refresher course

[Bahasa Indonesia]
I had a long hour chat with a friend last Saturday. One story I told her was about another friend. A friend that was a super busy person with quite a complicated life, to say the least.

I referred to her as one of my greatest teachers. And a dearest friend.

Whenever we wanted to meet, there was always something. Her meeting was extended. The restaurant in which we were supposed to meet was closed and her mobile was not functioning so she could not contact me. She had sudden assignments from her boss(es). She had to run some errands for her family. Etc etc.

So one or two hours delay to her arrival was “normal”. It was actually good, compared to the three or four hours delay. Or a no show. Or a no show with no notice.

Needless to say, I--who practically uphold the sacredness of promise and punctuality--was almost always upset when she was late. Yet, somehow, I kept (or keep, present tense) making appointments with her, and she with me.

I did not realize the lesson that I was undertaking until one day, we made another appointment. I visited her town and we were supposed to meet after work. When I SMS-ed her once I had arrived at our meeting point, she responded by saying, “Sorry, got to buy something for my daughter.”

Amazingly, all I said (and felt) was “ok”. Then I picked up the phone, called another friend, and said “looks like we can meet after all tonight.” Life went on. With little resentment, if at all.

As I was praying and contemplating after that incident, I realized that I have passed an important lesson. That lesson of being (un)emotional when somebody changes her/his mind, when somebody suddenly has other plan, and when somebody does not keep their promises.

I started to view this from her/his perspective. She has complicated life. And so has everybody else to different extent. It might be selfish for me to be upset. Perhaps it was just not meant to be.

Last Saturday night, I was supposed to meet another friend. Funnily enough, that friend too did a no show. No phone calls. No nothing. And I felt fine. “Ok, I can take some rest and finish my book then,” I thought. Turned out that the friend was sick as a dog, or so the sms in the morning said.

The story I told my friend that very afternoon now seems to be a refresher course of what to come the evening that followed.

I was reminded of my past lesson and the milestone that I have successfully passed, just before a similar incident came along. A kind reminder to not fall into the same trap twice. Thank you.

What the river has shown me

[Bahasa Indonesia]
My friends and I were discussing the poem It’s a pleasure to be a student. One asked about the line “Rivers show me the nature of myself.” What can rivers show us? She asked.

It brought me back to when I was in Anahata, Ubud, Bali.

Towards the end of my stay there, we went down to the river just below our resort.

I dipped my feet in the river. I moved my feet around and played with the water. The feet, naturally, moved and it was a nice sensation.

Then I suddenly stopped moving my feet, while still leaving them in the water. And what I saw, moved me, inside.

I saw my feet kept moving. It was moved by the river water, rather playfully. It was a grandeur sensation.

Perhaps that’s how we should live our life as well. If we surrender to nature, then the nature will gracefully and lovingly (and sometimes playfully) move us.

We do not have to try to fight or move against it to get that grand sensation. Perhaps there is such thing as trying too hard.

Instead, we just appreciate, surrender, and flow with it. Experiencing, enjoying, an even grandeur sensation.

And that, I told my friend, was what the river has shown me.

Pic: From Anahata Spa & Villas Resort.

Oh Ahmad

By Narda Dalgleish.

O Ahmad
There is nothing I can do or say to prevent your intention
To blow yourself up
with those you hate.

But I would like you to know anyway
That at the end of your last prayer
when you turn your head to the right
and say
assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuhu
you have greeted me too
as I am there, right beside you
with the whole of Mankind
because your Lord is my breath.

Then when you turn
your head to the left
and repeat for the last time
assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuhu
I am there too, with the whole universe
because everywhere you turn
there is His face
And your Lord is my breath.

Even when
your hands and forehead touch the ground
and you say to your Lord with a deep sense of fulfillment
Hu
We are all there
right beneath you
with our forehead and hands and knees and toes
touching yours from the ground.
So just before you press the button
with your call Akbar
know that we are always between you and your Lord
because
He is our breath.

Now. What if I tell you that the poem is written by a mother who has lost her son to a suicide bomber?

One, one, one

From Rumi. It's been a long time.

One, One, One

The lamps are different,
But the Light is the same.

So many garish lamps in the dying brain's lamp-shop,
Forget about them.

Concentrate on the essence, concentrate on Light.

In lucid bliss, calmly smoking off its own holy fire,
The Light streams towards you from all things,
All people, all possible permutation of good, evil, thought, passion.

The lamps are different,
But the Light is the same.

One matter, one energy, one Light, one Light-mind,
Endlessly emanating all things.

One turning and burning diamond,
One, one, one.

Ground yourself, strip yourself down,
To blind loving silence.

Stay there, until you see
You are gazing at the Light
With its own ageless eyes.

.I'll stay. snif.

Exhibition: Out of Tibet

[Bahasa Indonesia]
For more info, go to Enrico's website.

Travel to Bromo

[Bahasa Indonesia]
I have not been traveling for traveling sake for quite some time. Recently when I traveled, it was for business, a course, or family. So I did not know what made me say yes to last week’s travel to Mount Bromo, East Java.

There were four of us. Ex-colleagues of mine. Well, not really. I only worked with one of them while the other two came in after I left the company. But somehow I did not hesitate for a single second to say yes to the invitation. And I am so glad I did not.

The trip was great. The weather was not ideal but that did not stop us from having fun. We visited several places, ate more than enough meals and snacks, and practically laughed all the way. We chatted about nothing and about everything. We had a blast. I certainly had a blast.

I remember my teacher said that we should not travel to get away from our problems and seek peace. Because peace is within.

Have peace within you. So by the time you travel, you will not be running away anymore. You travel to appreciate the beauty of nature and to enjoy the company of the people you meet along the way. You are glorifying God.

Thank you. And You. For the glorious scenery, the beautiful friends.

Refreshing

[Bahasa Indonesia]
I was sitting in a restaurant waiting for a friend. I have finished my first drink and have declined an offer from the waiter for the second one.

Then suddenly the waiter came to my table and gave me a complimentary glass of fresh water.

The water was refreshing. In more ways than one.

Amorous evening - A concert

The 5W1H of the day

Written on my last day in my then-project.

A good press release should be able to answer the 5W1H questions: Who, what, when, where, why, and how.

It also has some must-have elements, like the logo, time and date, quote from spokespersons, boilerplate, and contact info.

So below is my 5W1H for the day. Click the pic for larger image.

Take good care.

To our dear child:

[Bahasa Indonesia]
A friend has uploaded the poem below, taken from a website titled parent's wish. Beautiful.

To our dear child:

On the day when you see us old, weak and weary,
Have patience and try to understand us.

If we get dirty when eating,
If we can not dress on our own,

Please bear with us and remember the times
We spent feeding you and dressing you up.

If, when we speak to you,
We repeat the same things over and over again,
Do not interrupt us. Listen to us.

When you were small,
We had to read to you the same story
A thousand and one times until you went to sleep.

When we do not want to have a shower,
Neither shame nor scold us.

Remember when we had to chase you
With your thousand excuses to get you to the shower?

When you see our ignorance of new technologies,
Help us navigate our way through those world wide webs.

We taught you how to do so many things,
To eat the right foods, to dress appropriately,
To fight for your rights.

When at some moment we lose the memory
Or the thread of our conversation,

Let us have the necessary time to remember.
And if we can not, do not become nervous,

As the most important thing is not our conversation,
But surely to be with you and to have you listening to us.

If ever we do not feel like eating, do not force us.
We know well when we need to and when not to eat.

When our tired legs give way
And do not allow us to walk without a cane,

Lend us your hand. The same way we did
When you tried your first faltering steps.

And when someday we say to you,
That we do not want to live any more, that we want to die,
Do not get angry. Some day you will understand.

Try to understand that our age is not just lived but survived.

Some day you will realize that, despite our mistakes,
We always wanted the best for you
And we tried to prepare the way for you.

You must not feel sad, angry nor ashamed
For having us near you.

Instead, try to understand us and help us
Like we did when you were young.

Help us to walk.
Help us to live the rest of our life with love and dignity.

We will pay you with a smile and by the immense love
We have always had for you in our hearts.

We love you, child.

Mom and Dad

I love you too, Mom and Dad. I am so sorry for my ignorance, disrespect, rudeness, selfishness, thoughtlessness, thanklessness, and impatience.

In memoriam: Pak Lukman

[Bahasa Indonesia]
Yesterday a colleague and friend, Ahmad Lukman, passed away. He was just 32 years old, a father of one cute son. He had been unwell for quite some time and the condition had gotten worse during the last several months.

Yet he was full of spirit. He was a diligent worker, was a great person to chat with about everything, loved reading books, and was an activist in his community.

He had lived a full life. And he never complained about his life or about his illness. Of course he said things about how he felt, but I don't consider that as a real complain (or as another friend put it, the most unfortunate person in the world syndrome). He was a strong person, with an eternal smile on his face.

All I could think of as I was heading for his house last night was: he has done well in this life. Perhaps much better than many of us.

Salaam, buddy. You really did well. We'll help take care of your family for you. You need not worry about anything.

MMD - Meditation to know self

[Bahasa Indonesia]
On Dec 24 2007-Jan 1 2008, I attended an eight-day meditation program called Meditasi Mengenal Diri (MMD, loosely translated to Meditation to know oneself), facilitated by Hudoyo Hupudio in Mendut monastery, Central Java.

MMD aims to free oneself from attachment. The rules are simple. The only ‘task’ we have is to be aware. To be aware of all our thoughts and actions. The only thing requested from us is not to bother anybody else. Simple, but not easy.

My days were full of ups and downs, full of various ridiculous thoughts to physical sensations, such as sore back and itches. But I was determined to discipline myself and not to give in to the sensation, thoughts and boredom.

Time flew, relatively speaking. I started to enjoy the meditation sessions. This so called enjoyment in itself is a golden trap. Mr. Hupudio reminded me to be careful, “Be aware that you are enjoying the meditation, until the time you feel neutral about it.” How cunning our brain is.

In the last day, the head of the monastery joined us. He reminded us to always be aware of and to pay attention to every move, every second of our life, including the times when we feel bored or frustrated why we cannot meditate.

Our mind is used to searching, demanding, and getting. It is difficult for the mind to give and let go. Even when we think we do good deeds, the mind keep thinking “What do I get?” From getting recognition from other people, good karma, prosperity and peace, to heaven. The mind still demands something in return.

Or subtler still, we often think “I give so that I feel fulfilled.” There is still hopes. The mind is having difficulties in letting go.

Even when we meditate, we often hope for ‘progress’. So when we feel at peace, we are happy that we feel at peace. We feel we are progressing. There is still expectation.

The habit of searching, demanding and hoping are the result for ego. The mind constantly demands. This creates unease, restlessness and dissatisfaction.

To overcome this, we only need to pay attention, to be aware. The method is so simple. Each of us has the capability to attend to our mind and physical condition.

Our thoughts, desires and plans in the everyday life should be filtered. Is it a good thought? Will it hurt us, other people, or other being? Is it feasible or am I being too ambitious, pushing it too far, or wanting too much? All has its own portion. If it is good, then we need to be consistent, should be loyal in executing the plan.

Our everyday life is our meditation. So let this kind of attention be present, always. Attend to all our physical and mind movement, to the mind that keeps demanding all things to everybody, including to self, other people, and God.

Complete note (in Indonesian) is here. You can also read a friend’s experience of MMD (also in Indonesian) here.

Understanding autism

[Bahasa Indonesia]
Last weekend I helped my friends from MPATI (Masyarakat Peduli Autis Indonesia - Care for Autism Indonesia) in conducting a training session on public speaking for its pioneers.

About 15 people from all walks of life attended the training. Parents of autistic children, therapists, psychologists, and youth from Miss/Mr. Jakarta (I wonder if this is the correct translation of Abnon Jakarta). They came from Kalimantan, Solo and various places in Jakarta.

I can only say: Amazing people. People full of enthusiasm and commitment to share their understanding of autism and to help autistic children and their surrounding create a better future.

Thank you, Gayatri and DY, for allowing me to participate and for such a wonderful initiative. Thank you, MPATI pioneers, for your enthusiasm and patience.

Thank you, Mbak Lita of Maverick, for willing to help without any single hesitation. I cannot imagine doing this without your help.

I want to share the presentation of the training here. Unfortunately, it is still in Indonesian. Let me know if you are really interested and want to have the English version.

For more info, contact Ms. Tini or Ms. Reni at the MPATI Secretariat at
Jl Warung Buncit Raya 99, Wisma Yaqif, Jakarta Selatan. Tel +62 (21) 799 1508, hp +62 (813) 8074 1898 or e-mail yayasan_mpati@yahoo.com.

Happy birthday, Mom

[Bahasa Indonesia]
The only words I can think of are "thank you."

Thank you for, literally, everything.

I can dedicate my life to you as a payback, but it would still be nothing compared with all the things you have done for us.

How about a song for today? I think this one fits well.

Don't Forget To Remember Me
By Carrie Underwood

18 years have come and gone
For momma they flew by
But for me they drug on and on
We were loading up that Chevy
Both trying not to cry
Momma kept on talking
Putting off good-bye
Then she took my hand and said
'Baby don't forget

Before you hit the highway
You better stop for gas
There's a 50 in the ashtray
In case you run short on cash
Here's a map and here's a Bible
If you ever lose your way

Just one more thing before you leave
Don't forget to remember me'

This downtown apartment sure makes me miss home
And those bills there on the counter
Keep telling me I'm on my own
And just like every Sunday I called momma up last night
And even when it's not, I tell her everything's alright
Before we hung up I said
'Hey momma, don't forget to tell my baby sister I'll see her in the fall
And tell mee-ma that I miss her
Yeah, I should give her a call
And make sure you tell Daddy that I'm still his little girl
Yeah, I still feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be
Don't forget to remember me

Tonight I find myself kneeling by the bed to pray
I haven't done this in a while
So I don't know what to say but
'Lord I feel so small sometimes in this big ol' place
Yeah, I know there are more important things,
But don't forget to remember me
But don't forget to remember me

I will never forget. Promise.

How to Find Leaders

A simple copy and paste from the toastmaster website.

Want to find leaders for your organization?

John Maxwell, Ph.D., is an expert on leadership and author of more than 30 books on that topic. In his monthly e-newsletter, Leadership Wired, he answers the question, “How can I be sure to hire the right person?”

To accomplish anything of significance, you must have the right people by your side. Finding a great hire often goes hand in hand with identifying potential leaders. Maxwell credits his friend Fred Smith with helping him arrive at these 11 questions to ask when looking for a leader:
* Does the person question existing systems and push for improvements?
* Do they offer practical ideas?
* When they speak, who listens?
* Do others respect them?
* Can they create or catch a vision?
* Do they show a willingness to take responsibility?
* Do they finish the job?
* Are they emotionally strong?
* Do they possess strong people skills?
* Will they lead others with a servant’s heart?
* Can they make things happen?

Good one.

Lesson learned from the funeral

[Bahasa Indonesia]
Last night I went to friend’s family funeral.

I was amazed by the condolence flowers his family has received and the number of people attending the funeral. I did not realize that his family was that popular and part of that ‘it’ society.

My respect grew tremendously for him last night. Not because I now I realize how well off his family is. But because how grounded he is despite of his family status.

It takes a lot of maturity, self confidence, and awareness to be as humble as he is. I am honoured to be his friend.

Thank you for the lessons learned. Peace and love for your family always.

Job: Homepage and News Country Editor for MSN

Homepage and News Country Editor (3x)
Reports to the Executive Producer

We're looking for someone who is passionate about their local audience, can pick out and follow a good story, and can meet deadlines in a fast-paced environment.

An MSN Homepage and News Country Editor will have the following responsibilities:

Editorial Management. Identify the best stories to feature on the most highly-trafficked areas of the MSN Network; primarily on the homepage but also within Windows Live Hotmail and Windows Live Messenger. Ensure this content is timely, accurate and locally relevant. They must be passionate about local, regional and global news and current affairs;
Content updating and integration. Aside from the above, other Editorial areas need to be updated and kept fresh & relevant in order to engage the audience. Other duties help to ensure our pages are easily crawled by search engines. Duties can include updating news polls, maintaining a professional blog, updating search metadata, picking out and publishing editorial search highlights, selecting and publishing News Special Reports, and updating cross network assets;
Establish, protect and put forth the Editorial Voice. The MSN Editorial Voice is to inform and also be provocative. It is important everything that we do editorially on the homepage and News channel is aligned with that Voice. We do not cover stories normally; we find a different way to approach a story that is captivating to our users. As we relaunch new media channels for MSN it is important that the editorial team can take this Voice and implement and extend this across many categories.
Analysis & continual improvement. Part of our philosophy is to analyse the data we receive to continuously improve our message to our audience. We take advantage of the near-time nature of our medium so we are constantly reviewing how our editorial content performs so we don’t repeat mistakes, we can learn more about our users, and so we can build on the success of our “big-clicking” content.A Homepage and News Country Editor will scan the web for news that is relevant for their users with the objective of attempting to find content that will keep users on our homepage and channels as long as possible.

As the Editorial team needs to ensure content is at its ‘freshest’ and most relevant during peak traffic times for the MSN network, extended operating hours are the norm. Some shift work may be expected. A night-shift team will be maintained during the weekday so it is the responsibility of the Homepage and News Country Editor to ensure that team is properly briefed as to what are the key editorial stories to look out for overnight, what editorial content needs to be updated and that the transitions go smoothly.

We are looking for three News & Homepage Country Editors. One editor each will be assigned to Singapore and Malaysia individually. The remaining editor will cover both Indonesia and the Philippines. All will be initially based in Singapore but should be very familiar with their respective markets.

Required Qualifications:

Bachelor's Degree ideally in Journalism;
Fluent in English and Bahasa
2-3 years editorial web experience in a large portal or media web site where display advertising is the main source of revenue;
Passion for the Web, digital content, and customers;
Strong communications skills;
Comfortable with working with numbers, analytics & measurement;
Self-directed with excellent organizational skills;
Knowledge of and interest in local, regional and global news and current affairs;
A true multi-tasker;
Ability to set and maintain deadlines;
Must possess excellent computer skills including proficiency in Microsoft Excel and Microsoft Word.
Understanding of Web development technologies (i.e. HTML, XML, AJAX, JavaScript, …) is an advantage;
Comfortable with image editing tools such as Photoshop

Desired Qualifications:

Experience working with 3rd party content providers;
Strong work ethic and a high level of professionalism;
Creativity, intelligence, and integrity;

Interested? Email me at general.online@mac.com.

The Anahata Villa and Spa Resort

[Bahasa Indonesia]
I went to Ubud last weekend for the healing power of ikhlas program, co-managed by True Nature Healing and Kata Hati Institute.

I want to tell you more about the program but I am waiting for the handout to be distributed by e-mail. I want to be as exact as I should be. So for the time being, I will share with you the beautiful place that I stayed in: Anahata Villa & Spa Resort.

This is the first paragraph the resort uses to describe itself.

“Nestled in the lush landscape of the Petanu River bank, Anahata is a world class Bali hotel villa. Surrounded by verdant tropical forest and restful waters, visitors to these Bali vacation villas experience the tranquility of a pristine environment with all the amenities of luxurious living.”

You can read more about the resort on its website. But I want to tell you something that is not written in the website or the brochure.

The name. According to the ever-dependable Wikipedia, the Anahata chakra is physically positioned at the heart region. Anahata is associated with the ability to make decisions outside of the realm of karma.

In Anahata, one is making decisions, 'following your heart', based upon one's higher self, and not from the unfulfilled emotions and desires of lower nature.

The wish-fulfilling tree, kalpa taru, resides here, symbolising the ability to manifest whatever you wish to happen in the world.

It is also associated with love and compassion, charity to others, and forms of psychic healing.

Wow what a great choice of name.

The people. I had the pleasure to meet Onie Djatmiko, the owner of Anahata resorts. She—and all her staff, and I do mean all—are so into servicing the guests. And if you know me in person, you know this is a huge compliment.

Can I have hair dryer? Certainly. How do you make this soup? Oh we do this and that. Would you like the recipe?

I left my empty bottle of mineral water on the bar table because I wanted to go the toilet nearby. When I returned, the bottle was already filled in with fresh water.

“Your shuttle to the airport would not leave for another hour. Why don’t you have another cup of tea? On the house.” Enough said.

The river. Oh the river. The resort sits by the junction of two clean clear fresh rivers. The Balinese believes such junction to be a pure and powerful place, an abundance of energy. You have to be there, really be there, to believe it.

My favorite place, the river bank. Early in the morning (or all day, I don’t care). Alone (or with somebody else, does not matter).

Onie, you have one great place. Thank you for sharing.

Pics courtesy of the Anahata resorts.

I am.

[Bahasa Indonesia]
I am my parents' child. I am my siblings' little sister. I am my profession. I am my friends' friend. I am a follower of my religion. I am a citizen of my nation.

Multiple definitions for a single object. Strange.

I try defining me through my problems. But suddenly the problems feel unimportant. Insignificant. Not relevant. Not applicable.

I am nothing but blessed. And loved. And love.

I am you. You are me.Then the I, me, you, we, us, they, them, he, him, she, her, and it get confusing. It does not seem to make sense. Perhaps it is no longer relevant.

Why differentiate?

I am asked to imagine a room, the definition of "me", and to widen it. I imagine breaking the wall and see a green meadow under a bright blue sky.

I feel free until I realize my world is still limited by the ground that I walk on. I still put myself within a boundary. True freedom is still an illusion.

I spoke too soon. I am satisfied prematurely. The ego speaks yet again.

I picture the world only to see that I am the universe, the nature.
I step back to see me more clearly. But no matter how far back I go I still cannot see me. I am nothing.

I wonder.

I am grand but I too am a mere spec.

The duality concept gets confusing. It does not make sense. It is no longer relevant. There is no need to differentiate. No reason to.

There is no plurality. Pick a pronoun and stick with it. One is enough. We do not need more. There is never a need to have more.

I exaggerate, as always.

I want to travel through time. Then it dawn to me there is nowhere to travel through. I cannot see any other destination or dimension.

Present is the only time there is. One tense is enough.

I sit by the river and have an urge to play with the water. I put my feet in the water and move them around. Then I stop and realize that my feet are still moving without me moving them. The river does it for me. Now it makes sense. I smile without wanting to smile.

Let nature take it course. Surrender. Watch wonder unfold.
Live from this on, he smiles and says.

The soul knows. The rest needs to digest.

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