Chipping in

How do you treat a person?

[Bahasa Indonesia]

How you talk about a person when that person is around is important.
How you talk about a person when that person is not around is more important.

How you treat your friends is important.
How you treat your enemies is more important.
(not to mention interesting).

Because that is what defines your characters.

Whatever you say about a person, you should be able to say the same thing to that person directly. If not, then consider yourself out of line.

Don’t say it is difficult to change. Don't give me the excuse that "it's human nature". It's a matter of practice. A matter of habit.

Arfan Pradiansyah. Trijaya FM. Earlier today.

PS: Thoughts lead on to purposes; purposes go forth in action; actions form habits; habits decide character; and character fixes our destiny.--Tryon Edwards

Sush

[Bahasa Indonesia]

What do you do when you know something that no other does? What do you do when (you know) you cannot tell anybody about it? You keep your mouth shut. Thank you for your trust. You.

But btw, Mr. Thich Nhat Hanh, I think I might need your refuge island of Sati, Smarti, and Panya.

Persona: Mbak Lina

[Bahasa Indonesia]

I love meeting inspiring people. I met one when last week: Mbak Lina my yoga instructor from Balance Yoga, Yogyakarta. She came across very humble, just like any rather young Javanese mother. But this impression quickly grew stronger as I was listening to her stories.

I shall just share one story with you. Her child has downsyndrome. She did not give up though. She kept her positiveness and went here and there to help her child grow.

The child did grow into a marvelous kid. But Mbak Lina did not stop there. She established a foundation to help other families with downsyndrome children.

She rightly put it that in cases like this, the key is the mother. It is the mother who will break or make the child. (Salute to all mothers, hugs and kisses to mine).

I told my friend about Mbak Lina. I told her that what crossed my mind was the fact, the realization, that I am nothing, still a long way to go, compared to Mbak Lina. My friend’s response was that she often felt that way with just about anybody. Slap Slap to me.

Silence

[Bahasa Indonesia]

I have this belief (or superstition) that if something happens or is spoken to me twice, especially when one occurrence happens right after the other, then it is a message to me, it is something I need to think of.

This week, it was the topic of pure silence. The inner silence.

On Thursday night, I was listening to a radio talk show that happened to discuss this inner silence. Then there was another conversation with my friends last night which brought up more or less the same topic.

Anyone who read my blog or know me would know that I am into spirituality, whatever the word may mean to you. So the topic of silence is nothing new, theoriticaly speaking. Practically speaking, my life has been, and is still, full of hustle and bustle.

I sent a question through the sms to the radio station. It came late in the hour, so they just rushed through reading it. The only respond that I had from the speaker was “that’s technical.”.

It was a perfect response. Probably I have been too hung up with technicallities, when I should have just let me be. In complete silence.

-Then off I went to search the word “silence” in google and wikipedia. Looks like I have a long way to go. -

A yoga weekend retreat at Losari

I went to Losari Coffee Plantation last weekend for a Yoga Weekend retreat arranged by Yogya-based Balance Yoga.

Wow. That was the first word that came out of my mouth when I first got there. Followed by a long sigh. Second word: HUNGRY. It was about 3pm and I had not had my lunch. And you know how I feel (and behave) during late lunch.

But then things just got better. This neat resort surrounded by eight volcanoes is just a perfect weekend getaway. In three phrases: great view, great activities, great friends.

Great view – imagine this: hectares and hectares of green spaces made of gardens and coffee plantation, ethnic village-type houses, blue clear swimming pool, with a view of eight volcanoes. All well maintained yet not over the top manicured. Enough said.

Great activities – The yoga sessions were great. But I have to admit the MASSAGE is better ☺. Chat with friends were great. The best thing to do, sometimes though, is NOTHING. Just sit there, breathe. Let nature exhibit its best entertainment.

Great friends – that open up, that just let me be how I want to be, that listen, talk and laugh together, and that share the same dream: how about making a spiritual healing center that embrace everybody and anybody (or in Anne Marie’s term: a spiritual supermarket).

I will hand over the floor to the pictures to describe the experience better.

Again. Wow. Followed by a long sigh.

Education and SMEs

[Bahasa Indonesia]

I remember passing by a riverbank one day, where all the small wooden huts reside. I asked my friend how we can eliminate them. He simply responded, by erradicating poverty. So true. How?

Education and SME development. I really truly believe those were the two things that will revive my country. Don’t ask me to give you the comprehensive logical argument on why I believe it, I just do.

Education. No further argument needed.

Small and medium enterprises. The majority of companies in Indonesia is considered to be a small or medium companies. The majority. Can you imagine if most of them grow? Can you imagine how strong the economy would be?

Again, how to do that?

The million dollar question. I will quote another friend when I asked him, “What can we do?” He said: just do what we can. Spot on, babe. You're thinking too much. Stop thinking, start doing.

What can we do? A lot of things. Look at the family of those who work for you. The office boy. The driver. The maid. The street hawker that pass by your house everyday.

Do you have time to spare, skills to share? Volunteer. Support any type of social activities around you, whichever you are comfortable with, does not really matter.

Do you like to write? Then for God’s sake start writing. Anywhere.

Do you have money? Donate. Give up those four cups of Starbuck's coffee a month and give the money to the needy instead.

Be a true professional at what you do, whatever it may be. No corruption. No complaints. If you are a consultant, consult well. If you are a business planner, plan it well. If you are a teller, count well. You have a job? Consider yourself lucky.

Smile and say hello to those who open the door for you, to those who clean up your desk, to those who take you to work, to those strangers whom you meet at the lift everyday.

If you can’t do all the above, at least please do not make the condition any worse. The signs are everywhere. What are you waiting for?

Start doing something. Anything.

What a nice weekend

[Bahasa Indonesia]

I was supposed to go with some friends. They cancelled on the last minute. I just said the usual “Oh well.” And I am off to Plan B: spending time with my best friends. I knew they just so happened to go to the same destination. What a ‘coincidence’.

[I’ll post our pics later]

“Aren’t you upset” some asked.

How can I complain, when my plan B was being with my best friends? Perhaps I should even thank those who had made the last minute cancelation of the trip.

What a nice weekend it turned out to be. Thank you.

Never ever "I don't know"

[Bahasa Indonesia]

I read this more than ten years ago in the Scottish's Daily Mail zodiac column. But the words stick in my mind even until now. It went something like this:

"For you the hardest word to say is not "sorry". It is "I don't know".

Not sure whether to laugh or to be offended by it. Hits right between the eyes. The oh-so-familiar statements of "Sure, I know", "Oh I know somebody who knows", or "I am not sure, but let me find out".

Things I do to make my life more complicated.

APRIL BABY

Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous. Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does work well with others. Very confident. Sensitive. Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Able to cheer everyone up and/or make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and others. Understanding. Fun to be around. Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive. Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and travelling. Systematic. hot but has brains.

-from a chain email titled What baby are you?-

Hot but has brains. I like that ;)

Note: Mi'raj— 2nd and 3rd stage (By A. Chodjim)

[Bahasa Indonesia]

After discussing the Adam stage, which reflects our effort to dettach ourselves from the world, we are on the second stage.

During the mi’raj, on the second sky, Muhammad met Isa and Yahya. Yahya means life, while Isa is able to bring the dead back to life.

On the second stage, we learn how to—try to—put meaning to our life, and even give life to other people.

Several things that we can learn at this stage:
* Complete surrender to God.
* Not taking side, except to the Truth.
* Ability to face challenges.
* All are His.
* Free from material attachment.

Only by doing this we can start giving life to others. And only by going through this, we can enter the third stage: Yusuf; where we can see the beauty beyond the beauty.

There are seven things which reflect Yusuf (or Joseph)’s wisdom:
* See beauty beyond the beauty.
* Better to be in jail than to humiliate others.
* Choose to save a lot of people than just himself.
* Forgive and not hold grudges.
* Accept only tasks in which he is really capable of.
* Always talk kindly.
* Conduct religion in its purest way.

All these are processes. But we need to start. From ourselves. If not us, then who?

Only people who understand the meaning of life and give life to others (pass the Yahya and Isa stage) can see the beauty beyond the beauty (Yusuf stage); and only people who have passed the material life (Adam stage) that can give life to others.

Complete note of this discussion (In Indonesian) can be downloaded from here.

Accept what can be accepted. Appreciate the difference among us. Each with her/his own’s needs and stage of growth.

27 years of managing school for needy children

[Bahasa Indonesia]

These kind of people--people who actually dedicate their time, their life, for other people in need--have often put me to shame. And put my life back to perspective.

I have just visited a school managed by my mom’s friend, Ibu Su’dan. She and her late husband established the school in 1980 under the name Ittiqon Foundation for needy children in North Jakarta.

They started with less than 10 students in old wooden house. They literally had to visit the houses in surrounding area and asked parents to let their children go to school. “What’s the use, they will end up being a garbage collector, like me,” they said.

Twenty seven years have passed (My God, twenty seven years!). Now 800 elementary and junior high school students go to that school. For free. Some students who want to pay are a allowed to pay at will. Some students actually save their money to pay for the school as best as they can.

Forty-two amazing noble people teach in the school, with ‘salary’ way below the minimum regional wage. They even cook for the students, if need be. The head of the school once stated that they were free to leave if they wanted to look for better job, but they said they liked it there.

On rare occasions, the students receive milk, rice or even cheese bread. Ibu Sudan said that some never had tasted cheese before and they threw it away because they said it was salty. The milk gave them indigestion at first because they were not used to it.

I was so proud to hear that a student from the school was in the top five best score for final exam among all students in North Jakarta.

Some graduates from the school receive diploma scholarship from UIN Syarif Hidayatullah. Upon receiving the diploma, they return to the school and teach. A full beautiful cycle has been accomplished.

Now the school has just finished building two more classes. They are about to receive support from an organization to build 15 more classes with . Yet there are a lot to be done.

Here’s my wish list:

Weekly milk or some sort of nourishment.
Regular health check up.
Book or educational tool supplies.
Better wage for the teachers.
Occasional bonuses for the teachers.
Better school building.
And that these children will grow to be greater people, more than you or me.

Any one?

start doing something. anything.

Note: Mi'raj--the first stage (A. Chodjim)

[Bahasa Indonesia]

Mi’raj has often been discussed as a journey that Muhammad has taken from Jerusalem to the seven layers of sky. In each layer of sky (do we call it heaven?), Muhammad met different prophet.

Rarely the mi’raj has been discussed in its more esoteric meaning, as implementation in human life, despite the fact that it is actually a journey to God. The seven heavens are the stages that we need to go through.

In the first heaven, there was Adam. In Arabic, Adam means soil, or earth. It represents the attachment we have with this physical world.

To pass this stage, we need to realize how this attachment has hampered our journey as human. This would is just a facility for us to grow. Happiness does not come from outside; it grows from within.

Hopefully we realize this without we come face to face with death. And we hope we can continue our journey to the next stage.

Complete note of this discussion (in Indonesian) can be downloaded from here.

Accept what can be accepted. Appreciate the difference among us. Each with her/his own’s needs and stage of growth.

Signs

[Bahasa Indonesia]

Do you believe in subtle signs we receive from nature? I do.

When I went home last night, I was listening to a radio talkshow. The topic was "Time to quit your job." Nice topic for the state that I was in. So I thought, hm.

I kept listening to the show. At the very end, at the closing of the talkshow, the announcer said "but if you hold on and stay throughout the thicks and thins of your company, then it would be good for you(r portfolio)."

Hm. Things you learn when you stay (tune) until the end.

Thanks. Friends.

[Bahasa Indonesia]

Yesterday a friend (and a mentor) emailed me to respond to my previous thread. She said, "Have a nice cup of coffee, put on your ipod while watching people passing you by. Life is beautiful." Thank you.

Another friend whom I often confide to asked, "When was the last time you sat down with a friend and poured your heart out?". Good question. I cannot remember. That is just not how things work for me now.

She suggested, "Why don't you have a cup of coffee with your close friend(s) and do that?" She did not realize, in my mind, that was what I was doing with her.

That evening I decided to do what I had not done for a long time. My 11pm nightly appointment with You. I prayed. I confided. For a short while. As I walked out of the room, my cat rushed in and laid down on my prayer mat. So I sat down again. And I meditated. This time for a longer while.

Today is weekend. I am off to yet another forgotten ritual of mine. Saturday's breakfast at a nearby coffeeshop, with only myself, my books and some passer-bys (how do you spell this word btw) as companies.

Thank you. All of you.

And to You: I did not realize how much I have missed my conversation with You. I should have come to You sooner. A lot sooner. Every second of my life. I am so sorry. But I am here now. And I hope You let me, You help me, be here all the time from now on.

Tired

I wish I have something wise to say. I wish I have more contemplative words to convey. I wish I have something positive to tell. But I don't. Not now. I am just simply plainly tired.

There are times when you start wondering what is around the corner. There are times when you start looking for that silver lining in every cloud, any cloud. There are times when you ask yourself which way to go. Or start questioning why, how. My time is now.

I know I am blessed. I know I am so so so lucky. I know things are just the way it should be, the way it needs to be. Life is one great big plan to improve oneself. But what I know and what I feel can be two different things.

And I feel this to my bones. I am just simply plainly tired. Help.

Happy Kartini Day

[Bahasa Indonesia]

The 21st of April is celebrated as Kartini Day in Indonesia. You cannot miss it if you are in Indonesia. You switch on the TV, read a newspapers or a mag, pass by a billboard, go to a shopping center, and you bound to hear “to commemorate Kartini’s legacy..”. To those who observe the day, happy Kartini day to you.

But with all due respect to you and to Ibu Kartini herself, I always wonder about two things (1) how many of us really know the history behind this Kartini Day, and (2) what makes Kartini so special. Why is there Kartini Day but not, for instance, Tjut Nyak Dien Day?

I suppose I should not be so hung up on this. What is more important is the spirit to empower women and to support gender mainstreaming (Speak the lingo, guys). And this is my impression of the day.

I went to a Femina’s seminar on franchising for women today. I was so amazed by the number of people (or rather, women) turned up at the event. So many. And they looked determined as well.

In the morning session, there were two speakers (all male btw). Amir Karamoy and Rhenald Khasali. Pak Amir, to me, spoke more straight to the point. He sticked to the theme of the day: franchising, while Pak Rhenald, absorbing as he was as a public speaker, was talking about more general things (and more relevant to his new book).

It was refreshing to me to learn that during the Q&A session, much more questions were directed to Pak Amir. Participants wanted to know about franchising. It showed determination. It showed single mindedness. I was so proud, somehow.

On another but related topic, this morning's Kompas also featured a female becak driver Ibu Aminah. She has been doing this for five years to support her family of 10 children. Ten children. That’s another subject. But Ibu Aminah is a real hero to me.

All in all, the very fact that we are still celebrating Kartini Day, however, implies that there is something to fight for still. As with the very fact there is a minimum quota for women in the Indonesian parliament. Or a state minister for women empowerment. Or poligamy. Or domestic violence. Or husbands that do not want to have anything to do with domestic chores. Or people saying “must be the mother” when a child goes astray. etc. Long way to go.

Happy Kartini day to all. And happy Kartika to you, han & your fam ;)

Anand Krishna

I met Anand Krishna last night.

Have you ever shaked hands with a person and felt that you want to cry? I have. At least, now I have.

A Year with Rumi, on the 15th of April

[Bahasa Indonesia]

I was curious about what he had written for today. Page 127.

Bewilderment

There are many guises for intelligence.
One part of you is gliding in a high windstream,
while your more ordinary notions
take little steps and peck at the ground.

Conventional knowledge is death to our souls,
and it is not really ours. It is laid on.
Yet we keep saying we find "rest" in these "beliefs".

We must become ignorant of what we have been taught
and be instead bewildered.

Run from what is profitable and comfortable.
Distrust anyone who praises you.
Give your investment money, and the interest
on the capital, to those who are actually destitute.

Forget safety. Live where you fear to live.
Destroy your reputation. Be notorious.
I have tried prudent planning long enough.
From now on. I'll be mad.

Hmm. Wow. Happy birthday.

Mama Loren said..

"In 2012, Indonesia will get better, people are starting to repent and do good."

...

"But the population in Indonesia would be halved. About 40%. The other 60% would be gone."

.he he.

Struggling

[Bahasa Indonesia]

"Hm, something is wrong here. I cannot pull my claws out of this sofa. Ok, breath, relax, I shall be fine"

"Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, umph, umph, rrrrrrrrrr"

"Arrrrghghghghtthhgghg, miauw, miauw. **&*^%^(!!"

"Hmph. Tired. Oh well. Perhaps I should just stay here. Hey, where's that fish? Hungry."

[Model: Miauw, The cat]

Book: Syech Siti Jenar - By Achmad Chodjim

Note: the book is in Indonesian language. Klik ini untuk Bahasa Indonesia.

I finally have finished reading Syech Siti Jenar by Achmad Chodjim. Thanks to the easter long weekend holiday. This posting is mostly taken from the last chapter of the book.

Syech Siti Jenar's view is a blend of middle eastern sufi and Javanese mystics. The emphasis is not physical, rather it is based on Love, in the form of manunggaling kawula kawan Gusti, tauhid al wujud, the oneness of the Creator and the creation.

He argued that religion will be beautiful if it is in line with God's law of nature, which is the existence of various forms and beings, as opposed to uniform existence.

Let religion grows in harmony with wherever it grows, in harmony with the local ecosystem. In his case, it was the land of Java. His teaching is an assimilation of the Arab-based Islam and the Javanese culture.

Alquran, he said, should be understood by its substance. Not an easy thing. Thus, the choice of teacher (guru) is crucial. The teacher should be a concrete manifestation of Alquran, able to provide guidance. Someone who understands the law, smart and with quality ibadah (not sure how to translate this).

Understanding the law means understanding the social rules of life in that particular environment or state. Understanding the life ethics. And the local social values.

Quality ibadah does not mean somebody who do all the rituals. Rather, it means his unconditional dedication to life without wanting anything in return. His sincerity in life which is reflected in his everyday life.

The teacher should be somebody who are able to hold himself together against all the temptations in life. Someone who has smart analitical thought and is proven to be able to face the challenges in life.

Siti Jenar also emphasized on the revival of self. A life with true rights, independence and destiny. An existence that does not dominate nor dominated by other being.

I myself think I need more time to contemplate upon the book, much more to implement it in my life. But I hope this is useful, for you and for me.

April for me

[Bahasa Indonesia]

April always reminds me of Spain. It is the best time to visit Seville, where one of the most majestic and traditional easter celebrations is being held (or staged!).

April is the time for Feria de Abril, a fun fun fun people’s traditional week-long party when practically nobody sleeps in Seville. (And it is not even holidays. They just party the whole night and work by day for a week.)

April was also the time when I moved to Barcelona, for another episode of my life, where I was blessed with the opportunity to stay with the family of such a passionate lady painter.

I would like to thank Spain for the one of fondest life memories I have ever had. It was certainly one of the best birthday presents God has ever given me. You would not know just how much it has helped me grow into what I am today.

Let me link this to my previous post in English. And in Spanish.

Os quiero, y recuerdo. Siempre.

Who are our idols?

[Bahasa Indonesia]

I was listening to Trijaya Radio, Thursday afternoon. The talkshow with Arfan whoever (forgot the last name, could not find his name either in Trijaya website). He was talking about being oneself.

One interesting question from him was: who are your idols? Name three people that you look up to. And Why. Answer to those questions reveal our own important values. Interesting.

So I start to do that exercise for myself. Three people. I can only think of the people who are close to me.

My late father Long term vision. Humble. SImple. Straight to the point. No bull sh*t. Freedom that he gives to his children to grow.

My mom. (terribly) humble. Unlimited patience. Surrender to God. Willingness to be in the shadow of her husband and children (while giving tremendous continuous support).

My aunt. Cheerful and positive in all conditions. Great story teller, full of enthusiasm and expressiveness.

One extra? My sis. Strong as a rock. And the way she rear her children. Simply amazing.

I also respect several public figures. Bill Clinton for his charisma and communication techniques. Mother Theresa for her unconditional sacrifice. Johny Depp for his courage and success in choosing his films and his decision to life away from the glamourous Hollywood (and he's just simply drop dead gorgeous).

My brain kept on rolling. Gus Dur for his brilliance and dark humor. Arwin Rasyid for his strong and humble leadership. Janet Jackson for her six pack (hm, is this respect or envy?). The list obviously is getting too long.

Now, what does being oneself mean? Who is the real me? How do I know? Who am I now? Is what I am now the real me? What's the benefits of being myself? What's the down side? How do I do that?

Ah, so many questions going on in my head. As always. Me being me.

Discussion: Muhammad as a role model

[Bahasa Indonesia]

I (finally) have decided to share the notes I make during my religious study sessions in the blog. I made this particular one last week on making Muhammad as a role model, in conjuction with the celebration of the birth of Muhammad. The session was led by Achmad Chodjim.

Anyone who longs for a meeting with God until the end of time, who always remember God, can make Muhammad as his/her role model. (QS 33:21).

QS 7:157 stated that Muhammad is always accompanied by “the light”, or more specifically, the spiritual light. Although he is no longer with us physically, the light still exists. This light is what we should seek.

Muhammad Al Ghazali divides role modeling into three categories. Some mimic Muhammad's physical appearance or literally without understanding the context and history behind it. Some learns from those who have already understood. And some learn through his/her own searching and contemplation.

During the session, Achmad Chodjim focused on the third. We look and learn from Muhammad's efforts in seach for the light. Then things will unfold by itself.

The more we receive the light, the more we will be guided, the more we will be civilised, and the ego will be underplayed. We will no longer depend on what other people are saying. All we need to do is to contemplate.

We will not be easily provoked, and will not use the religion for our own selfish purpose. Much easier said than done, I know.

Complete version (In Indonesian only unfortunately) can be downloaded here.

Please accept what can be accepted and appreciate the differences among us. To each his or her own needs and stage of growth.

Hee Ah Lee, the four-finger pianist

[Bahasa Indonesia]

Last week Jakarta was honored with the arrival of Hee Ah Lee. She held a sold out solo concert. I will let you decide yourself by watching the video below I have linked from YouTube. Courtesy of Sammania.

The effort, persistence, courage and love that have built this. Amazing.

Happy easter, everyone

[Bahasa Indonesia]

Love and peace throughout the world. And within.

Here are some pictures from one of the most amazing easter celebrations in the world: Semana Santa in Seville, Spain.

Patience

[Bahasa Indonesia]

Patience seems to be the lesson of the week (or is it the lesson of a lifetime?) for me.

I have been feeling impatience these last couple of months. I thought it was boredom. But it looks like boredom is just the symptom. Patience (or rather, the lack of it) is the problem.

I realized that when I was complaining about something to a friend. And all she said at the end was: “(Just do it) one by one. You will never know”. I stopped complaining that very minute. I knew she was right. The path has been set. All I have to do is walk it.

‘Coincidently’, I received an sms from another friend yesterday. She told me about a quranic study session which I have not been in for about two years. I attended the session because I happenned to be in the area. Guess what the main topic was: patience. One of the few things we should ask from God, through prayer and by doing good.

They say that God is with those who are patient. So the teacher in the session asked "Does patience has a limit?". He then said yes, when God is no longer with us. So when you lose your patience, you know who you are with, or without.

He also pointed out that patience needs knowledge. Just like when you cook rice, if you know that it will take about 15-20 minutes for the rice to be cooked, then you will be patience during those 15-20 minutes. Interesting points.

There you go. I have been told about what to do and how to do it. Patience definitely is the lesson of the week (or of a lifetime?) for me.

Patience, persistence and stamina. With blessing, protection and guidance from You. The path has been set. All I have to do is walk it.

-I told you I would write about you someday.-

Judging a book by its cover. Just don't

I had just had my lunch in this small place in the alley near my office earlier today. As I turned the corner near a streethawker selling cigarettes, I saw this middle-age lady talking on her cell phone.

She had caught my eyes even from a distance. In the middle of the day, sun shining literally on top of your head, she wore this comfy no-sleeve cotton night gawn, bright green with flowery red pattern. Her hair a bit curly and untidy. Smoking a cigarette while talking on the phone. Standing by a streethawker, choosing something.

Can you imagine her? Right. Then I passed by her, and I could hear what she was saying. She said to her friend on the phone "Then (s)he wanted to enter the Indonesian market at 1.3%, I tell you, is (s)he out of his/her mind.."

I must say, I was a bit, um, taken by surprise. I spontaneously looked at her with this awe in my face. Luckily she was too busy with her phone conversation.

Lesson of the day. Never judge a book by its cover. Not even when it is bright green with flowery red pattern.

Revealing: me

I had a short conversation today with a friend. She shared her hesitation to link her personal blog to her office blog. It was too personal, she said.

I saw her blog. I can perfectly understand how personal it is to her. In fact, I can say it is so beautifully personal. From a mother to a child. I can feel the emotion. The abundance of love.

I too hesitated to enter the blogsphere once. I too used the same reason, or in my case, excuse. My feeling was just too personal.

But in my case, there was more to it than just being personal. It was more about my lack of ability to share my feeling, my inner thoughts. It was about my ego, or the illusion of ego which I have crafted for so long to show the tough me.

Writing a blog as personal as mine was like revealing the inner me to the world. This put me in a fragile situation.

Then there was the fact that I might hurt someone. I know myself: I am not the most diplomatic person in the world. And I did not want (more) conflict in my life.

At the end, I decided to go for it. I use the blog to share my thoughts. As a training ground for my writing skills. More importantly, use it as a training ground to speak my mind without hurting somebody, trying to see anything from a different perspective, from a more positive point of view.

Most importantly though, use it as a training ground to reveal myself. Revealing: me.

And I want to say this to that friend of mine who hesitated to share her blog: what you are sharing is beatiful. I rarely read a blog and felt such strong feeling (of love). Please don’t stop. And certainly don’t hesitate.

"Let it go"

This happened more than 10 years ago.

I was in Mecca with my family. We had just got off from a taxi, when I realized that I had left my jacket in the taxi. I panicked. Then my father held my hand, looked me in the eyes, and said: "Let it go."

I still panicked and tried to get my jacket back. My father held my hand even stronger, looked me in the eyes even deeper, and repeated what he had just said: "Let it go." I finally let go.

Even today, whenever I lose someone or something, or whenever I realize I am holding on to something or someone too tight, I tell myself: "Let it go."

Love you, pop.

So me

I went home quite late. Would I make it to my yoga class, I thought. D*mned, the traffic was extra bad. Not helping.

I said to myself, "If I can get home by 7.45, I will go to the class."

The clock ticked, and ticked. The car was going somewhere alright, but very slowly. "Right, 7.50 is still ok."

Tick, tick, tick. Oh what the heck, I thought. Whatever the time would be, I would still go to the class.

Yeah yeah, I know. I can here my friend saying, "That is so you."

I got home by 7.55p. Rushed to change my clothes and went straight to the gym. Only to find out that my yoga teacher was not coming. Sigh. What a joke. The whole day has been.

There was a replacement teacher. Suddenly my mood for yoga was gone. "Perhaps I should just do treadmill. Or grab a cup of coffee somewhere. Cup of hot coffee. Yeah, that is what I would do."

Then another yoga teacher passed by and asked, "Why aren't you at the class?". I straightforwardly had another change of mind, change of mood, "Yes, I am about to go".

There you go. Talk about a quick change(s) of heart. Yes, I hear that again, "That is so you."

The yoga class turned out to be longer than usual. We had the nicest relaxation session. A nice way to end a very 'funny' day.

Belated happy April fool's day.

Pak Mus - 2

One of our favorite 'hang out' places while we were in Aceh. The great and solemn Masjid Raya Banda Aceh.

Pak Mus

A dear friend has just passed away. Bapak Mustafa Alatas. We worked together for a little over a month in Banda Aceh a couple of years ago. He was also the father of another dear friend.

He was such a kind man. He never raised his voice even in the most stressful situation. He always thought of everybody else in the team. There was not a single arrogant thread in his soul. He was a good teacher.

Several days ago, on one sunny day, Pak Mus went to a friend’s funeral in Bogor. He felt exhausted. He took a rest at a relative’s house in Bogor. There he felt a chest pain, then he passed away.

I went to his house that night. I met his wife. His wife greeted me with a smile. She thanked me for coming and asked me to forgive Pak Mus’s mistakes.

She went on telling some people there what had happened. She was so strong. She accepted and went on living. I seldom have seen people or family this strong. And kind.

I supposed, he is still a good teacher even after he has passed away.

So long, Pak. It was an honor to have you as a friend. I might catch up with you some day.

Pic: Aceh sky.

Perfect!

Lunch time on weekdays often means a quick lunch and a long coffee break to me.

That is when I eat the lunch that I bring from home at the office and after that go to the park downstairs in my office building area. Then I sit. And I read books. And I watch people pass by.

Last week I sat down at the usual coffee place and I looked around. Then it dawned to me. I could not have a better office building. Or even a better job. For this particular time in life.

I have a job in which I feel like I know what I am doing -- I have been doing more or less the same thing for the past eight years. I can go home at 5pm. I get along with my colleagues (hopefully it goes both ways). I can expand my network. And this. The office building with a park and a coffee place with outside seats.

I have said this many times, and I will say it again. Thank you. Appreciate all the things that you have done for me.

A walking meditation

Or rather, in my case, a driving meditation.

It was a late Sunday afternoon. I just had lunch with friends, and coffee with another. We parted. But I did not feel like going home.

Not like there was anything wrong with home. It was just one of those times. When you just want to wonder around with nothing but your thoughts. Your mind remains quiet. Your mouth as well. Too tired to move.

Too many things going on in your head. Things you don't really want to share with anybody. You cannot. (or not able to?)

So I drove around town. And I was treated with a beautiful sunset. Typical sunset in a big city. Still it was beatiful. And managed to bring a smile to my face.

Nice. I don't mind you as my company.

breakfast with fam

It was a public holiday in Indonesia. People were rushing out of town. So what did we do? Mom, sis, bro and I went for a relaxing breakfast in a nearby cafe. Relaxed. Happy. Warm.

Feels so close. Llike a family. Thank you.

Job: Communications Coordinator for Environment program

A large environmental services program is recruiting for a Public Outreach & Communications (POC) Coordinator to manage regular public advocacy and media relations work to promote improved health and environment service delivery in Jakarta and across Java and northern Sumatra.

Based in Jakarta , the POC Coordinator manages a team of regionally-based POC Specialists and works closely with program staff and partners from a wide range of technical disciplines. This position requires five to ten years professional experience and a relevant university degree (preferably Masters) in communications.

The successful candidate will have excellent relations with Indonesian media, government agencies and NGOs; experience in strategy development, monitoring and evaluation, reporting, events organizing, advocacy and public relations.

As a manager, this position requires experience in team coordination and capacity building. Effective oral and written communication in both English and Bahasa Indonesia is essential.

Technical experience in health and hygiene, water and sanitation services delivery, watershed management, forestry, or biodiversity conservation is required. Previous experience working on a USAID project, with exposure to USAID branding guidelines is preferred.

If you are interested and you think you would fulfil the requirements, please email me for details.

Job: Communications Advisor for BRR

Communications Liaison to BRR Office of Economic Development (OED). Short term. Based in Aceh.

Working under the the Aceh Technical Assistance Recovery Project (A-TARP), this advisor will provide a range of technical assistance in communicatons to OED and its initiatives, including the Investors Outreach Office (IOO), Export Development Center (EDC) and Economic Development Task Force.

Five years of experience is a must.

If you are interested and you think you would be qualified, please email me for details.

Job: Communications Advisor for ITAP

A job opening - long-term public affairs, communications, and public relations advisor to provide support to Indonesia's Ministry of Trade in capacity building, public outreach and awareness, and communication. Based in Jakarta.

At least five years of experience in communications is required.

If you are interested and you think you would be qualified, please email me for details.

In a matter of seconds

Jakarta is sunny today. It was sunny yeterday morning and part of the afternoon as well.

Then at about 5pm yesterday, it turned into this:

[pic: Kompas Daily]

I was waiting for my car, half complaining and thinking what had taken my driver so long to come. And I was looking towards the sky of East Jakarta.

I literally watched the storm moving towards me. It was so fast. The bright sky quickly turned into dark. Very dark. And might I say, scarily dark.

As I was on my way home, I thought probably it was no coincidence that I should stand there watching these drastic changes of the sky.

The waiting for the car was just a logical excuse to force me to stand there, having no other choice but to watch the sky. From brightness to darkness.

Just like I am standing here right now watching my country.

Unfold your own myth

Who gets up early to discover the moment light begins?
Who finds us here circling, bewildered, like atoms?
Who, like Jacob blind with grief and age,
smells the shirt of his lost son and can see again?

Who lets a bucket down and brings up a flowing prophet?
Or like Moses goes for fire and finds what burns inside the sunrise?

Jesus slips into a house to escape enemies,
and opens a door to the other world.
Solomon cuts open a fish, and there's a gold ring.
Omar storms in to kill the prophet and leaves with blessings.

But don't be satisfied with stories,
how things have gone with others.
Unfold your own myth,
so everyone will understand the passage, We have opened you.

Start walking toward Shams. Your legs will get heavy and tired.
Then comes a moment of feeling the wings you've grown, lifting.

-rumi, of course-

The mud (over)flow in Sidoarjo, East Java

They say a picture speaks a thousand words. Let these speak, then.

How can we still walk on the face of the earth with our head held up high?

[pics courtesy of Efrulwan, Surabaya]

Happy

I have no real reason to put this picture other than the fact that it is so adorable. They are so adorable. My nieces. Look at the expression. Look at the smile. Look how happy they are. Love them to bits.

On second thought, I supposed this is real enough as a reason.

To be with mom

Friends from the office asked if I wanted to hang out with them tonight. I said no. I just wanted to go home.

I thought about going to the gym after work. But I changed my mind. I wanted to go home.

I drove some friends to their hotel. They asked if I wanted to stop by for a while. I declined. I wanted to go home.

I just wanted to rush home. To be with my mom.

The old woman and the falcon

When you give a noble falcon
to a fussy old woman who knows nothing of falconry,
she will clip its wings short, for its own good.

Young man, where has your mother been
that your toenails have gotten this long?
Those talons are how the falcon hunts for its food.

The old woman fixes him tutmaj, dumpling stew.
He won't touch it. Too good to eat my tutmaj, huh?
She ladles some broth and holds it to his beak.
Her anger builds, and suddently she pours
the laddle of hot soup over his head.

Tears come from those beautiful falcon eyes.
He remembers his former life, the king's love-whisle,
the great circling over the ocean,
the distance that condense so quickly to a point.

Falcon tears are food for a true human being,
perfume for Gabriel.

Your soul is the king's falcon,
who says, This old woman's rage
does not touch my glory or my discipline.

-Rumi-

Hope you are well

My friend's friend was a victim in the recent Garuda crash in Yogya.

It feels different when it is someone you know. It even feels different when it is someone that someone you know knows.

I wish I have wiser things to say to you. But I don't. All I can think of is that I want to say I am so sorry for your loss. You are such a strong person, that it makes me sad to see you this sad.

Take care.

pic: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Durian

Sometimes I Do

In your light I learn how to love.
In your beauty, how to make poems.

You dance inside my chest,
where no one sees you.

but sometimes I do,
and that light becomes this art.

-rumi

Note: You're going to read many of these as I go through his book.

Book: for one more day

Mitch Albom's for one more day.

*** spoiler warning ***

As usual, Mitch can write in a sensitive manner. A man meeting his late mom.

I am not sure whether it is the story line or the fact that I kept picturing myself in the character's position and I kept picturing my late dad, or even my mom and the small taken-for-granted miracles she has done for her children.

I can feel what the character is going through. How there are so much we don't know about what our parents have done to put meal on the table or put us through schools. How proud they are about all those so-called achievements in our life. How we let it all pass without noticing or saying thank you to them. And how we just run to them everytime we fall, no matter how old we are now.

I think it is more on the topic of the book that is so close to my heart, which has turned on my restrospect mode. From story telling point of view, I still like Tuesdays with Morrie better though.

I love you mom. I love you dad. And I am so sorry. So sorry.

A year with Rumi

I received my Rumi book today, along with other books, from Amazon.

HAPPY :D

Must promise myself not to by more books in the coming six months, with all the reading backlog I have. Yeah right.

Forced move

Am I using the correct term? How do you say when somebody was forced to move out of his/her own home or had their posession taken away from them?

I was watching a film in TV5Monde Asie. The character of the film worked as an officer whose task was to forcefully take away people's possesions. Probably people who cannot pay their mortgage and thus the collateral was taken away from them. In the film, that 'people' was a middle age lady who looked decent, like she had nothing to hide, or rather, who look like she had nothing, period.

The lady gave in. She packed her stuff and gave it away to the officers. It was sad. I was sad.

And I pray to God that I would never be in any of those people's position--neither the lady nor the officer. To forcefully take away possessions of people who practically has very little with them left--even in the name of law, even if I have the legal power to do so. God forbid.

What would you do if you were the officer?

Get well soon. Stay strong

My friends and I visited a friend whose daughter is in a high-care unit of a hospital.

The daughter is 12 years old. She was not feeling very well but she insisted to go for an overnight trip with friends to the countryside. She went home feeling worse. It got worse and she fell into coma. She has lost so much weight. She has regained her consciousness now. But she is still unable to speak. Her body looked stiff, weak and so skinny.

We stayed for a while at the hospital, trying to bring some comfort to my friend and his wife. Then we went home. Speechless.

This afternoon, he sent a message to us. I deleted the mention of my company--though not sure for what purpose:

"Ibu, please send our greatest gratitude to the management and staff members of the company in all Jakarta, Bandung, Semarang and Surabaya for their considerable attention and contribution to my family. We didn't expect and were deeply touched by the symphathies shown in the form of money donation.

This truly helps relieves some of our difficulties, and the prayers from all of you, I believe, can help speed the recovery of our daughter. We are really proud of the visit of Ibu Nelly, Rosanah, Novi, Eva and Ayu. We hope that all team members will not forget us, as we won't. I hope we always keep in touch."

You don't know him. You cannot imagine the condition of his daughter. But I am sure you can feel his sincerity, sadness and gratefulness. Sadness and gratefulness --two words that are seldom placed side-by-side in one sentence.

Please pray for him, the daughter and his family. God bless.

A small chat

This morning I woke up not feeling up to it for work.

On my way to the office, I closed my eyes and did my invocations, dzikr. I opened my eyes as I was approaching the office. I felt refreshed.

What a difference a small chat can make. Thanks.

Aksa Mahmud

I was listening to Trijaya FM on Friday. They were interviewing Aksa Mahmud. He sounded like idealistic, simple and humble.

I met him several years ago. I was making a company profile for his Group. During my conversation with him, he too sounded like idealistic, simple and humble.

One statement I remembered during our conversation was when we were talking about the social activities of his companies. He said, "Let's just focus on business activities and not talk about the social activities. I don't feel right 'bragging' about our social activities." I went home feeling impressed.

I hope he stayed like that and live that each day of his life, including during his political career. And I hope more and more people will become like that.

FEMALOGRAPHY, 23 Feb-11 Mar, Jakarta

FEMALOGRAPHY: An international photo exhibition by Jerry Aurum, Feb 23 - Mar 11 at Senayan City Ground Floor.

Featuring conceptual pictures of cool females: Rachel Maryam, Dian Sastro, Dinna Olivia, Aline, Endhita, Adella Aletta, Sausan, Sarah Sechan, VJ Cathy, Indah Kalalo and many others.

Come!

-Some things are worth recommending-

We make a living by what we get,

But we make a life by what we give.

Winston Churchill

Forgotten already

The sun and blue sky in Jakarta the last couple of days have made me forget that there are still flood victims; that somewhere in Jakarta there are people with no home, no clothes, no nothing; that we still need to do something to make sure that the recent flood will not happen again.

It's already business as usual in some parts of Jakarta. Not sure whether to say fortunately, or unfortunately.

"Seuluran Tangan" revitalized

I have decided to reactivate my Indonesian blog: "Seuluran Tangan". Just because a friend reminded me about it. Thanks.

Jerry Aurum's Femalography

Jerry Aurum is holding a solo photography exhibition curiously titled "Femalography". The exhibition has been postponed to 28 February 2007 for 10 days in Senayan City, Jakarta. His book with the same title is also available in Kinokuniya (Jakarta and Singapore).

A brilliant young talented Indonesian photographer, which happens to be a friend of mine.

I don't give praises often you see. But drop by the exhibition or peek through his book if you can. Then you might agree with me that he is "A brilliant young talented Indonesian photographer".

ADDITIONAL NOTE: You see that question mark above? I actually put one of his photos there. But it turned into a question mark. Then I realized, it was censored. Which means that somebody might have reported it to blogger and asked it to be blocked. Oh well, all the more reasons for you to visit his exhibition.

He he, silly me. I forgot how different we are in seeing things. I supposed I have to respect that. Thanks for the reminder. Of how far we still need to travel.

Or will you censor even this one as well?

It's Jakarta's turn

I don't need to tell you about the flood in Jakarta. And you don't need to hear my version of flood stories nor more pictures about the flood. They are all over.

But I have just arrived from my trip to Bandung. I went there yesterday. It was an odd feeling to go from such a chaotic place where almost nothing runs normally like Jakarta these last several days to a town that is much drier where life goes on.

I was actually looking out of the window of my office. And I thought about the numerous disasters that happened in various places in Indonesia recently, when Jakarta always acted as if nothing has happened and everything was business as usual.

Perhaps it is Jakarta's turn now, to have this unfortunate catasthrope while life goes on in other cities in Indonesia. So that hopefully in the future, we cannot act like nothing has happened again.

The way it should be

Pic: my sis and her children.

It's now 11am in the tropical city of Jakarta

The longest journey

The longest journey, is the one from your head to your heart.

Beautiful, is it not? I heard this in one of those Discovery documentaries and I promised myself to put it in the blog.

The journey to shift ourselves from depending too much on our logic to your feeling. The journey to learn how to walk the path of life using our intuition and conscience. The journey to learn how to use not only our physical eyes, but also the eyes of the soul.

And I agree, it is a long journey indeed. I mean, how many of us are brave enough to trust our instinct and live life without thinking too much? Will we ever dare? When was it exactly when we start losing our courage to dream and to be spontaneous, because of all the 'pragmatic' and 'realistic' thoughts we have?

We say we have grown up. Perhaps we are going in the wrong direction. It's that way, not this.

The next time we see a child cry, let's not think of how he/she has distracted us, feel the sadness and the need for love. The next time we see the rain falls, let's not think of our way home, feel, enjoy. The next time we sip our morning coffee, let's not think about our day schedule, feel the warmth of the coffee.

Start walking that longest journey. Perhaps we would then realize, it is not as far as we initially thought it would be.

Belated happy birthday, mom

I cannot believe I have forgotten to write this.

During the last muslim's festive season, my family did our traditional sungkeman - where we kneel down before our elders and ask for forgiveness and blessings. During my sungkem to my mom, my mom whispered and thank me for my kindness.

Thank me for my kindness? Honestly mom. If only you realize the magnitude of love and kindness you have poured to me throughout my life. Obviously she does not realize that. Typical mom. Love her.

Belated happy birthday, mom. Thank YOU for your, um, everything.

Pic: me, sis and mom. Straight from the bed. Sis and mom - the two mother figures in my life. I could not ask for a better role model. I wish I can be half as good as they are.

PS: Happy birthday to you too, Ndien. We did not nickname her princess (TP-Tuan Putri) for nothing.

Yoga for chicken

I love yoga. Many friends can tell you that. And I have a chicken stuffed animal that have been with me since I don't know when and often speaks on my behalf. Many friends can tell you as well. And I love books. Almost any kind of books. Many friends can tell you that too.

So what did a friend of mine do? She gave me a book titled Yoga for chicken. There was not any particular reason - it was not even my birthday and she was not even returning from a trip.

She said she saw the book and straighforwardly thought of me. So she just bought the book as a gift for me. Such a simple gesture from a dear friend that shows she really knows me. Love the gift to bits. And it was a hilarious book too.

This thread is dedicated to you Ri. Wherever you are right now. Whatever you are doing. No particular reason. I have just returned from my yoga class and saw Chicken and I thought of you.

Such a sweet character. I cannot think of one single person who does not like you.

The avian flu

Have you been following the news on avian flu? I have. Well, how can I not if they are always on the headlines and on the radio or tv?

The endemic has gotten to a stage where we need to kill thousands of chickens, ducks, and pigeons for the sake of humanity.

Killing thousands of being in the name of humanity. That does not sound right, does it?

I am not against the move. Perhaps it is something we 'need' to do.

My friend's father is a bird lover. I can't imagine him killing his birds. Must be hard. Even harder for those who make a living out of it.

Granted, it is something we need to do. The question is how did we get to this stage? We have killed our forests. Now we are killing the animals.

How can nature not strike back? Perhaps its something THEY need to do as well. An eye for an eye.

Just when we thought it was safe..

A couple of days ago I saw a photo article of people choosing to use trains because they thought it was safer - in light of the recent ship and aircraft accidents.

This morning I saw an article of train derailed and fell from the bridge.

Wake up.

High school reunion, high school reunited

My sister has just returned from her high school reunion. They also invited the teachers. 200+ students attended, 34 teachers came.

They sent a chartered upper-class taxi to pick up each and individual teacher. They provided donation to the teachers (you know how poor the welfare of school teacher is in Indonesia). They greeted the teacher as if they were heroes. They are.

Students and teachers blended in. They ate, laughed, sang, dance and talked about old times. I cannot imagine how happy that time must have been - especially for the teachers - the often forgotten heroes of our lives.

My sister's Class of 82 is truly amazing. They gathered together every two months - for a quran study, a bible study, a social gathering, do some sports or even go out of town together.

They collect money - 40% to fund their activities and the other 60% for social cause. The social cause is either to provide scholarship for some of the current students in their high school or to provide scholarship for the children of their class mates who are not so fortunate financially. Some also volunteered to teach in the high school.

If only each of our small community gather together and do what we can to help those who are linked to our community, those in our immediate surrounding. It does not really take much.

I am just talking here. They are already doing. I am nothing compared to them. Hats off.

38% increase in unemployment rate in E.Java

This article was taken and summarized from today's Kompas East Java edition.

UNEMPLOYMENT RATE INCREASES
Kompas Surabaya, January 10, 2007

East Java’s unemployment rate, which was expected to lower in 2007, is actually growing high. According to the latest data released by the East Java’s Provincial Office of Manpower, the increase is about 38% compared to last year’s rate of unemployment. Lapindo Brantas Inc’s mud flood may be attributed as one main factor that triggered such rise.

The unemployed are largely low educated people (primary and high school graduates) and around 3,000 of them are victims of work termination due to operation shutdown of manufacturing companies affected by the Sidoarjo mud flood.

Unemployment Rate in East Java
2005 : 1,082,221 people
2006 : 1,498,131 people
2007 projection : 1,385,252 people

.sad.

Communal karma?

My sister has just returned from her hajj pilgrimage. She is fine, thanks for asking. She talks a lot about the journey. Very positively, despite of all the practical challenges she had to face. Good for her.

She also told us about how most of the Indonesian pilgrims were starving when they were in Arafah desert. Which reminds me. They say that you will receive your karma more directly when you are on hajj pilgrimage. So for instance, if you are arrogant enough to say that you will not get lost, you will be lost. If you complain that your food tastes awful, then for the whole journey your food will always taste awful.

Now in this case, the whole Indonesian hajj group are starving. I know on one hand the organizer was responsible for it and should take up the responsibility for it. But I wonder. Can this be one of those karmas as well? Instead of to individuals, this time it applies to the whole nation.

The whole group was starving. And back home, the whole village were swept away by landslide, the whole aircraft vanished without a trace. The whole hill was burnt by a forst fire. The whole ship sanked. The whole region was filled by hot mud. The whole seaside area was blown away by hurricane.

Communal Karma. They say it is the next step. When individuals do not listen to the call of nature, the nature will call harder. To the whole community. Until we listen. Until we have no choice but to listen. Sooner or later.

Back to what I used to be?

I told my friend about what I do in my current job. He was surprised and said, welcome back, old Eva. Are you sure you want to be back to that stage again? I asked what stage? He said to those times when I was so busy doing small little things at work.

He was wrong (I hope). That was not the problem. The problem was the fact I had no sense about where I was going in my life. I have no sense of purpose. The problem was I was so caught up at small things in life, worrying about everything, that I lost the big picture. The problem was I was being a perfectionist at work, and I tried too hard to stay connected to everybody. It was eating me up.

Now I feel different. My work has my time from eight a.m. to five p.m. The rest of the day I use for my family, friends and myself. It has my time but not really my soul. My soul stays centered (or at least I try).

Don't get me wrong. I am still with my high standards. I give my best, I still push for the best, but I am not obsessed by it. I let go off many things. I do not feel the burden anymore.

And I have a sense of direction. This is how I function in the society. For the development of my country. For the betterment of my people. I am just starting. I have a long way to go. But I have a sense of direction.

The childhood and my school years for my basic attitudes. The seven years I spent in the consultancy for my skills and a taste of real life. The one year sabbatical for my soul. The half a year as a freelancer to land me down gently at work life once again. All these lead up to this.

I am ready for this stage of my life. And I thank all the teachers and friends I have met along the way.

My friend was wrong (I hope). I am not really back to where I used to be. I did not do a full circle. It is more like a spiral. Same point - in some sense - but not really.

The only full circle I want to have is when I finally return to God.

Life as one grand solution

Love this expression to bits. From my Quran study teacher.

Remember God in His widest sense in every second of our life. Not only through the religious rituals but also in every breath and move that we make. Not only with our lips but with all our heart and how we do things.

Be conscious all the time. Be aware that this body is not ours, it belongs to God. Be aware that this soul too belongs to God. God will then strenghten our soul.

Only after that we will achieve true peace. Our intuition will grow stronger. Our life will be ‘guided’.

When we reach this stage, we do not need any solutions to all our problems, because life in itself is a solution.

Aa Gym and polygamy

A friend asked why I do not write about this hot topic that has been circling around the country for the past month.

I don’t know. It just does not interest me that much. It is his personal choice. He can do what he wants, make his own justifications, and live the consequences.

I am all for monogamy. For the respect of my partner and my own.

Gus Dur - it has been a long time

Gus Dur spoke in a Paramadina dialogue about a couple of weeks ago. The title of the seminar was Muslim Jesus. We talked about how the Muslims and the Christians see Jesus. The way I see it (and you might differ, I don't mind), there were so many similarities, despite the different terms used bt each religion.

Two responses from Gus Dur that I loved most. First, he was asked what he would do when he was faced by people with different belief. He simply said, this is what I believe, that is what you believe, and that is that. End of story. He acknowledged and respected the differences. And moved on.

Second, my favorite, was when he was asked how can we downplay the differences among us. He said it is by focusing on general ideas: on poverty, on lack of education, on all the catastrophies happening in our country, on health and prosperity for the many. The ideas that stand true in every religion.

I was late that night. I came about one and a half hour after the talk had started.

I was late but I have got what I came for. That message of peace. That message that it is okay to have differences. That message of working together on a common ground, on things that we agree upon: to fight against poverty, corruption and lack of education.

Di seputar kita

By Krakatau

Selama dunia masih berputar
perbedaan tak pernah pudar
terbawa keangkuhan manusia
tak ingin membagi rasa

bukalah mata hati kita
bayangkan masa depan dunia
bersatu rasa untuk melangkah
demi meraih harapan
dunia yang indah

bayangkanlah kita semua
berjalan bersama
menuju hidup damai sejahtera
sempatkanlah untuk melihat
di sekitar kita
ada kesenjangan antara manusia
lihat sekitar kita ..

adakah sepercik bahagia
yang tersisa di hati kita
bergandeng tangan dekatkan hati
tiada perbedaan dalam cinta dan kasih

Teriring salam dan doa bagi saudara-saudara saya di seluruh Indonesia yang tengah tertimpa musibah - baik di Sumatera, Kalimantan, Jawa, Nusa Tenggara, Sulawesi, Maluku, Papua, dan semua tempat lainnya.

Salam juga buat Pak Presiden SBY yang berjanji untuk lebih banyak bertindak di tahun-tahun mendatang ketimbang sekedar mencari konsensus.

Saya lelah mendengar kritik dari berbagai pihak mengenai negara ini. Lelah melihat orang bertengkar. Lelah melihat begitu banyak orang berkomentar tanpa bertindak, karena merasa itu bukan bagiannya atau merasa tak berdaya.

Mbok ya lebih optimis. Lebih positif. Ayo ayo kerja. Lakukan apa yang kita bisa. Apa pun itu.

From veronica decides to die

One of my favorite quotes from Paulo Coelho’s Veronica Decides to Die was when Veronica thought that her days were numbered and she started to see everyday as a miracle. Imagine that, to wake up everyday and see it as another miracle.

Which reminds me of another quote. Ernesto Guevara (yes, THE Che Guevara) who suffered from Asthma once said, “You don’t know what it is like. To want to breathe but not be able to.”

To see the simple act of waking up and breathing as a miracle and be grateful for it. When was the last time we felt that?

Still on the path

Yesterday I did what I have not done for a long time. I sat alone with my books at a café. Reading my books. Watching people pass by. Doing nothing. Letting whatever popped in my mind popped. Being caught up between full time work, meeting friends, exercising and family made it more challenging for me to find the time and energy to do so.

And what popped was the times when I allowed myself more time to spend with myself, the times when I rigorously meditated and prayed, and the times when silence and emptiness were always welcomed and even seeked.

I missed those days. I wondered whether I have strayed away from my path. Then I texted my friend about this. I went out with another friend and discussed this as well.

The two occurrence yielded the same conclusion: that this actually is part of the journey. It is a journey that I – that we – have to undergo to become who we are, who we are destined to be, who we really are.

Perhaps this is the pragmatic phase for me, the time-for-action put-theory-into-practice do-something-for-community phase. Even the title of the blog has changed from pilgrim for life to chipping in. Even the ideas for the blog threads for me have shifted to practical matters.

Thank You for the answer. I feel better already.

Used school books to give away anyone?

Anybody interested in helping my friend in her Program Anak Asuh (helping children in need get their education) by giving away used elementary school books or Indonesia-English dictionaries? Let me know. Thanks.

Christmas and new year!

Let’s hear it for moms!

This entry is dedicated to you, a strong supporter for breastfeeding. And for good reasons to. Hats off.

Welcome home, lad

A friend of mine has just returned to Indonesia – after staying for about eight years abroad. Talented. Insanely smart. Honest. Sincere. Cool. Hard worker. Idealistic. Loyal. Good sense of humor. Vast array of knowledge. And he plays guitar and sings to.

We need more people like that.

Now he is home. Now we can continue our dreams, the ones that we used to talk about when we were in the university. A dream for our almamater. A dream for our country, our people, or for whoever or whatever it is we dedicate this to. The time could not have been more perfect.

Welcome home, lad. Good to have you back.

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